The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.
New at better-not-say-it.com: Our hot joke section. Have fun laughing with our sensationally funny jokes:
Gay parents...
... must be a rollercoaster. You either get twice the dad jokes or a constant loop of, " go ask your mother"
Do you know why Santa Claus doesn’t have any children?
He only comes once a year and it’s down a chimney.
I was dating a woman who said she was a divorcee, but then she told me she was never married.
Turned out that she was divorced from reality.
A guy walks into a pub
He sees a pickle jar full of money on the bar and he asks the bartender “what’s the jar for?” Bartender tells him that if a person does 3 specific things, then they win all the money in the jar. So they guy asks what are these 3 things? Bartender says “See that guy at the end of the bar?” There’s a big burly biker at the end covered in tattoos. “You have to fight him and win.” “I would be crazy if I did that! Give me a beer” says the man. He proceeds to drink a couple beers and then after 4 or 5 beers, he slams the beer down, and goes to fight the biker, and he beats the absolute shit out of him, sends him to the hospital. The man goes back to the bartender and asks, “what’s the second thing?” Bartender says “well there is this mean old Rottweiler in the other room with a rotten tooth, you have to go pull it.” And he sets a pair of pliers on the bar. “I’m definitely not doing that, says the man. Just for shits and giggles, what’s the third thing he asks. “Well there is a 90 year old lady upstairs that has never had an orgasm, you gotta give her one.” Eww, says the man. “Give me another beer.” So the man drinks and drinks. And then slams the beer onto the bar, grabs the pliers, and goes into the room with the Rottweiler. You hear whining and barking coming from the room. After a minute the man bursts out of the room and yells. “Now where’s that bitch with the rotten tooth!”
Why did Jerry’s character in ‘Seinfeld’ never find true love?
None of the women he dated in the show were in high school.
In this age of missinformation and misogony I propose a solution
Misterinformation and mistersogony.
What’s the similarity between boobs and Raspberry Pi computers?
Both were intended for kids but it’s the adults that end up playing with them more
J. R. R. Tolkien released today that the character Golem A.K.A. shmeagle from the lord of the rings series was in fact written to be homosexual
J. R. R. Tolkien released today that the character Golem A.K.A. shmeagle from the lord of the rings series was in fact written to be homosexual. Much like the fairly recent controversy over the Dumbledore sexual preference in the Harry Potter universe, this news has sparked interest in fans. Golem was in fact raised by elves in the kingdom of gargalon in which he was sexually abused as a habit prior to finding the ring. Most fans should be familiar with this kingdom as it serves as a main plot point in the majority of the hobbit book series. Me: Wtf is that? Have you heard of gargalon?? You: Gargalon? Me: Gargalon deez nuts
Do you ever wonder if the web developers behind Pornhub were inspired by Kevin Costner & Field of Dreams
If you build it, they will cum