Stuff you better not say at Christmas 1/1

Here we have many funny and sometimes deeply shocking insights into things that shouldn't be said.

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If your Left leg is Thanksgiving and your Right leg is Christmas, can I visit you in between the holidays?

I go with my lantern and my lantern with me There's a tavern up ahead, so I'll swap that thing for beer.

My girlfriend is so nice to me that I asked her ring size. I hope she doesn't know yet that she's getting a bowling ball for Christmas.

I'm slowly getting into the Christmas spirit. I'm not saying shit anymore, I'm saying HOLY shit!

When does hibernation actually begin? I'll take part this year.

Christmas would be so much nicer if there weren't raisins in everything.

Now that the nights are getting cooler, spiders are hiding under your beds. Sleep well.

Christmas Eve with the family

Brother: "We are now married and expecting a child" Sister: "I got promoted" Me: "My kebab time card is almost full"

Dear Santa, I've been good all year... Well, mostly... OK, sometimes... It's okay - I'll buy it myself.

It is absolutely incomprehensible to me how one can buy gifts for one's partner at the last minute. As if there wasn't enough time to break up.