Stuff you better not say to your Boss 1/4

Here we have many funny and sometimes deeply shocking insights into things that shouldn't be said.

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I have such a cold, the table next to my bed looks like it`s from a 13 year old who just discovered online porn.

We all live under the same sky, but we don`t all have the same horizon.

Theory is when nothing works and you know why.
Practice is when everything works and nobody knows why!

The fact that no one understands you doesn`t mean you`re an artist.

You can`t fire us, slaves have to be sold!

Chef: "Noch fragen?" Ich: "Was passiert mit dem Rotz im Helm, wenn Darth Vader niesen muss?"

There are those days when I don`t want to be approached until I`ve had my first cup of coffee, lunch, dinner, two bottles of beer and finally got back in bed.

- Do you take drugs? - Boss, you know full well that I don't make enough money to have a drug problem.

I understand your point, but I think this is a big pile of crap!

"Boss, I`m going home. I`m not feeling so well" - "That doesn`t sound good. Where`s the pressure? In your stomach or in your head?" - "No, in the office"

I don`t get paid well for this!

I`m only here for the money!

That`s not one of my duties

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