Stuff you better not say to your Boyfriend 1/3

Here we have many funny and sometimes deeply shocking insights into things that shouldn't be said.

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As a bystander, what do you actually say about intelligence?

It took you 5 minutes to get home?! Google Maps says 4 minutes! What`s her name?!

You know... I love you, but I`m not in love with you...

I can`t understand you, my phone is broken!

Then pull it out of there!

Yesterday I was only two women away from having a threesome.

A blue whale`s vagina is so large and deep that up to 6 adult humans can insert themselves. That means she`s the second biggest pussy in the world, right after my boyfriend when he has a cold.

The other day in the sauna I saw an old man whose penis was really tiny! Do you think they shrink with age?

Can you please wash yourself, it smells funny...

I hate your mother!

And when we`re married and have kids...

Don`t pull on the bra, it`s sensitive.

Just look, don`t touch!

My girlfriend got a totally sweet, trusting, nice and housebroken puppy. Unfortunately her husband is allergic and has to go now: Bernd 37 years, 87 kg

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