Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...Why does Santa not have any kids of his own?
He always comes down the chimney
A woman had three young daughters...
One day, the first daughter came to her and said "Mama, how did I get my name?"
"Well, the day you were born, a beautiful lily flower floated in through the window and landed on your head, so we named you Lily."
The second daughter asks "Mama, how did I get my name?"
"Well, the day you were born, a beautiful daisy flower floated in through the window and landed on your head, so we named you Daisy."
Finally the third sister goes "Gah wah nah nah wah gah nah!"
And her sisters yell back "Shut up, Brick!"
I’m reading a horror novel about birds in braille.
It’s giving me goose bumps!
Pencil/Pen Joke
A man walks into staples, the employee asks would you rather have a pen or pencil? The man responds with, “It depens. I’ll have to ink it out. In the end my thoughts will have lead me to a conclusion.”
What does gandhi say to the pizza place?
"Make me one with everything"
The cashier says "sure that will be 27$"
Ghandi hands him a 50$.
Cashier gives him the pizza, and nothing else.
Ghandi says "what about my change?"
Cashier says "change must come from within"
-u/megopolis12
I like to watch horror, movies when I’m in the bathroom
It scares the shit out of me
A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a blood donation center.
The rabbit says "i think im a typo"
I wish this was a joke
So I’m a primary care physician and last week we did away with mandatory masking.
Today one of my young female front office girls approached me and said “People are so much nicer to me when I tell them they don’t have to mask anymore!”
I said “Thats great!”
She said “yeah, it’s like when I tell a guy he doesn’t need to use a condom!”
I’m speechless.
why did the web designer love his job so much?
he had a footer fetish.