Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...A man ask a nun if he can have sex with her.
A man gets on a bus and ends up sitting next to a very attractive nun. Enamored with her, he asks if he can have sex with her. Naturally she says no and gets off the bus. The man goes to the bus driver and asks him if he knows of a way for him to have sex with the nun.
“Well,” says the bus driver, “every night at 8 o’clock, she goes to the cemetery to pray. If you dress up as God, I’m sure you could convince her to have sex with you.”
The man decides to try it and dresses up in his best God costume. At 8 o’clock, he sees the nun and appears before her.
“Oh, god!” she exclaims. “Take me with you!”
The man tells the nun that she must first have sex with him to prove her loyalty. The nun says yes, but tells him she prefers anal sex. Before you know it, they’re getting down to it, having nasty, grunty, loud anal sex. After it’s over, the man pulls off his God disguise.
“Ha, ha! I’m the man from the bus!”
“Ha, ha!” says the nun, removing her costume. “I’m the bus driver!”
What are the strongest days?
Saturday and Sunday; the rest are weekdays.
Why did Santa get beat up by a teenage girl?
He accidentally put a lump of coal in Greta Thunbergs stocking
Guy Hitches a Ride…
Guy hitches a ride, and noticed a camera with a rainbow haired My Little Pony sticker on it, then asks the driver about it. The driver says: “Oh, That? That is my “Dash” cam.”
What do you call a short person who escaped from prison and can talk to the dead?
A small medium at large.
Why did the Girl Scout leader get kicked out of the troop.
They got caught eating brownies.
Vladimir Putin just wrote a new song
Russia referred to it as a “Special Musical Operation”
(Pickup Line) Hey girl are you a school?
because I wanna shoot some kids inside you
Did you hear about the International women’s day sale on steam?
Everything was 70 cents on the dollar.
How did they know princess Dianna had dandruff?
They found her head and shoulders in the glove box
How do you kill a French vampire?
You have to stab him/her with a baguette.
It sounds easy, but the process is painstaking.