Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...I began carving turned wooden bowls & stair posts & candle stands,
But lathe-yness has taken hold of my time.
... to the Police ...Yes, I know I didn`t follow the rules 100%... But you have to admit I`m still pretty good at driving for someone totally drunk.
A famous Vietnamese chef named Quan Si Ho was opening a restaurant, but couldn’t decide what to name it.
His brother Bao Ho told him: “It’s trendy to name restaurants after their best dish and the name of the chef.”
“Oh really?” said Quan.
“Yeah,” Bao said. “Like LB Steak, or Pizza Angelo. You could call yours ‘Ho Noodles’ or ‘Soup by Quan Si.’”
“That’s it!” said Quan. “I’ve thought of the perfect name! I’ll go register it with the Chamber of Commerce now.”
A half hour later, Quan returns with a black eye.
“What happened?” Bao asked.
“I don’t know,” said Quan. “The clerk just punched me in the face outta nowhere.”
“That’s so weird! What happened right before that?” Bao asked.
“He asked me what my business was called,” Quan said. “And I told him, Pho Q. S. Ho.”
Regretting the compliment...
A woman walks up to a guy in a blue bathing suit and says, "Did you know your eyes match your swim trunks?" He says, "Really! Why? Are my eyes bulging?"
What do you call it when a hot twink doesn’t know how many dicks they’ve taken they past month?
>!He is faggotfull.!<
... to your Friends ...I finally dared to talk to a girl! I`m incredibly excited for February 30th.
How many incels does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but he has no idea how to turn it on.
I told my wife that I find out every morning how much my poop weighs.
She asked if I weighed myself before and after pooping. I thought for a second and I told her that her way is a lot cleaner than what I have been doing.
I just made an appointment for morning exercise.
And why are you crying?
are you even listening to me