Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...
... at a Date ...Was that just an earthquake, or are you making my world shake like that?
Well, that was embarrassing.
I forgot where I parked my car. Then my wife reminded me that I was shopping online.
Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?
There’s no menu, you get a get you deserve.
What do bent lines and wartorn countries have in common?
Crooked Rulers.
How did the Marx Brothers win the marathon?
...By Harpo-loading the night before
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
How does a redditor get karma when they don’t deserve it?
Piece of cake
The Pope falls ill with a rare fatal disease.
The best specialists from all over the world were silently called in for advice. After much debate and research, they determined that the only hope of saving the Pope's life was for him to have sexual relations with a woman. His advisers were notified, who in turn spoke confidentially to the pope. The Pope tells them that he needs a day to pray about it. The next day, the pope summons his advisers and has the room sealed. “My sons, after much prayerful consideration, I have an answer. I have decided that you will arrange this most unusual treatment in order to save my life, for the good of the Church, but on three conditions." "What are the conditions, Your Holiness?" “First, the woman you choose must be blind. Because when she sees that she's dating the Pope, she either gets a feeling of self-importance since she's the only woman who has ever slept with a Pope, or she may lose her faith in Pope holiness my position. She must be blind." "So it will be, what about the next condition?" “She must be deaf for the same reason. While trying to be a righteous man, I am a man and as such I am allowed to scream with delight throughout the act. She must not know that she is with the Pope, so "she must be deaf". "Very wise, it will happen. What is the third condition?” "Big Tits".
A man must do what a man must do - and his wife will tell him what that is.
What is 6 inches long and every man wishes he had more of it?
Dollar bills