Things better not to say - random entries
... at a Date ...
... Jokes ...A farmer installed a modem in his barn
I guess you could say he has stable internet now
My first girlfriend had an identical twin
It was every middle schooler’s dream! A hot chick with an identical sister and all the fantasies you could imagine. So there I was during summer break, I decide to head over to my girlfriend’s house.
I walk in and I’m instantly greeted by whom I thought was my girlfriend, but little did I know how confused I was, and what a trip awaited. One thing led to another and next thing you know, I fucked her dad.
The resemblance was uncanny!
A man was seeking wisdom from a tribal elder...
The Elder told him to cut down a tree, strip it of all limbs, and plant it in front of the sacred grounds. The man did this and went back to the Elder. The Elder said, now remove it, cut down a taller tree and repeat the process. The man did this again, and the Elder told him a third time to repeat the process. By this time the man was tired and angry and asked "Why do you make me do this over and over?" And the wise man said, Reddit likes reposts.
If you’ve never seen a weathervane on the roof of a barn, it’s a device designed to tell the farmer the wind direction.
And very often, the top of it is a metal rooster (or a cock, if you prefer).
And do you know why they put a cock on a weathervane?
Because if they put a cunt up there, the wind would blow right through it.
*thanks to George Carlin*
Why is reverse cowgirl not allowed in Alabama?
Because you never turn your back on family.
I left my car between the numerator and denominator.
I got a ticket for parking in fraction.