Things better not to say - random entries

“Do you have any last words before I kill you?” snarled the demon.
That was 32 years ago and I’ve still not said a word since, it still shadows me, waiting.

I shouldn`t have left after the pre-glow.

Ancestry
My co-worker tells the best stories. He said: I did that ancestry DNA thing and it came back that I was 20% American Indian. It makes sense because after I went to prom it rained for 2 weeks.

African students brought the teacher to tears...
to drink.

What does a candle do when it gets fired?
It has a meltdown

why cant black guys swim?
Because their dicks act as a buoy

I`m not a man for one night, but I`d have an hour or two.

What does Mrs Claus get when she wears tight pants?
A mistletoe.

Why don`t blondes need an umbrella? Because the path from the bedroom to the kitchen is covered!

What do angry peppers do??
They get jalapeno face!!

The UN has always been a joke
But since the Russian invasion of Ukraine, white people are getting it.

I bought a £600 wallet
Now I have no use for it

i tried my hand at breeding chickens
Turns out they only like cocks