Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...A trucker who has been out on the road for two months stops at a brothel outside Atlanta.
He walks directly up to the Madam, drops down $500, and says, "I want your ugliest woman and a grilled cheese sandwich!"
The Madam is astonished. "But sir, for that kind of money you could have one of my prettiest ladies and a three-course meal."
The trucker replies, "Listen darlin’, I’m not horny – I’m just homesick."
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer.
After he is served the beer he asks the guy next to him to watch his drink while he uses the bathroom.
He does his business, and when he returns the guy watching the drink says “I wouldn’t drink that if I were you.”
“Why not?” He asks.
“That monkey over there, came over and peed in it” he informs him.
“What,” says the man, “whose monkey is that!?”
“I think it’s the piano player’s monkey,” the other guy tells him.
The man goes up to the piano player and says, “hey, do you know your monkey peed in my beer?”
The pianist replies, “no, but if you hum it I’ll try to play it.”
Thank you for calling the suicide hotline, sponsored by Nike.
Just do it.
The anal dildo was invented entirely spontaneously...
From what I hear, the inventor just pulled it out of his ass
Stephen Wilhite, inventor of the GIF, recently passed away.
Bet you'll see this story over and over again.
100 years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars
Today everyone has cars and only the rich own horses
The Stables have turned
Having cats is kinda like being Louis CK ..
.. you always have an audience to masturbate to.
Did you hear about the Proud Boy drag queen?
She goes by Militia Etheridge.
Do you ever wonder if the web developers behind Pornhub were inspired by Kevin Costner & Field of Dreams
If you build it, they will cum
A redneck is pulled over by a policeman...
Policeman: Got any ID?
Redneck: About what?