Things better not to say - random entries

New York City is so depressing?
How depressing is it to live your whole life in New York City? Well, The light at the end of the tunnel is New Jersey.

A Sexy Girl in a Party Asked a Retired Army Colonel:When did you last have sex ?
Colonel:1955. She Said: That Was So Long Ago ! Wanna Have Some Now ? The Colonel Looked at His Watch: Sure, Why Not Its Only 2130 !!!

Hello dream woman, can I buy you a strong drink? Then I look acceptable too.

I`m tired, go to rest, cover my beer belly. Father don`t let the cat be so cruel tomorrow. Please give me thirst again, everything else is sausage to me.

People who sell meat for a living are gross ..
But people who sell veg are grocer

The pressure of a gas is inversely proportional to its volume—Boyle’s Law.
Any leftover cabbage must be shredded and mixed with mayonnaise. —-Cole’s Law.

A girl asked me if I wanted to see her pussy.
Then she showed me a cat.

I thought digging tunnels would be exciting…
Turns out it’s boring

The snow today was just like fat chick pussy.
Really wet and heavy

How do you know if your dog is gay?
His dick tastes like dogshit

My top 5 bad jokes:
What’s a kidnappers favorite type of shoe? - White Vans What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo? - One’s really heavy and the other one’s a little lighter Why did the NFL coach go to the bank? - To get his quarter( )back What does Jeff Bezos do every night before he goes to bed? - He puts his pyjAMAZON How much space does fungi need to grow? - As mushroom as it needs

What’s the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
It only takes one nail to hang a picture of Jesus.

What do you call the guy who graduated last in his class in med school?
“Doctor”