Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...A young monk walks into a collection agency and asks if they are hiring.
Puzzled, the owner wonders as to why he would want to work here, as opposed to the usual route of spending years at a monastery, meditating to reach nirvana as was tradition.
The monk responds that he truly seeks enlightenment, yet he learned of a trick to speed up the process.
Intrigued, he told him to come with him as he was heading to a stake out, to recover a car that missed many months of car payments.
The monk seemed very pleased and eager, quickly following the owner to the tow truck.
While they were sitting, waiting for the car, he asked "so what is this time-saving trick you are referring to?"
The monk replied, I found out that >!The easiest way to earn karma, was to spend time participating in *Repo-Sting* operations!<
Hey, imagine if there was something you could put in your body that could let you see a whole new layer of existence and change your perception of reality?
Bro, that would be dope.
I went to the toilet
Tried to shit but only farted
Now I sit here sad and broken hearted
What do you call when a blonde dyes her hair brown?
Artificial Intelligence
3 guys were at a sleep over
They just watched a horror movie so decide to sleep on the same bed.
In the morning when they wake up.
The guy on the left says "I had great dream where he was being wanked of by a hot blond"
The guy on right says "Oh shit, I had a dream where I was being wanked of but by a brunette"
The guy in the middle said " Fuck I had a dream I was skiing"
"God Save the Queen" seems an ill-fitting anthem following the coronation of King Charles III
The obvious choice for the replacement is the "Charles in Charge" theme song.
My wife and I watched three films back to back last night….
Luckily I was the one facing the telly
Being a doctor is so difficult.
You examine hundreds of patients every week and nobody bats an eye. But you get a boner ONCE and everyone goes crazy. I mean can you blame me? You get so close to someone’s body, you get to see and touch everything, how can you NOT get a boner???
I should have never become a pediatrician.