Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...Did I ever tell you the joke about my favorite garden herb?
No? Well, it’s about thyme!
[OFFENSIVE HUMOR] An african-american man walks into the bar with a parrot perched on his shoulder.
The bartender exclaims:”Wow, you don’t see that nowadays, where did you get that from?”
The parrot replies:”From the jungle nearby.”
I found out my wife was cheating on me
She said I’ll be home 10-15 mins max
My name is Logan
What’s the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?
I’ve never paid to have a lentil on my face
Retirement.
My nookie days are over,
my pilot light is out.
What used to be my sex appeal,
is now my water spout.
Time was when, of its own accords,
from my trousers it would spring,
but now I have a full-time job,
just to find the blasted thing.
It used to be embarrassing,
the way it would behave.
For every single morning,
it would stand and watch me shave.
But now as old age approaches,
it sure gives me the blues.
To see it hang its withered head,
and watch me tie my shoes.
Did you hear about the guy who decided to explore his sadness fetish?
A decision he would come to regret
What do you call an alcoholic grape beverage served in a beer mug?
A Winestein.
Today on a drive, I decided to visit my childhood home.
I asked the people living there if I could come inside as I was feeling nostalgic. They refused and slammed the door in my face.
My parents are the worst.
What did the art museum do when their LEGO exhibit was inadvertently destroyed?
They were distraught, but eventually they picked up the pieces and moved on.
What would be inherently more popular if it wasn’t for the U.S.A?
The German Language.