Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...Went back to work
I went back to work in the music industry after the pandemic. My manager asked what I had done during my time off.
"I wrote songs."
He replied "That tracks."
How do you know if your sister is on her period?
Your dad's cock tastes weird
What did one peanut say to the other peanut during sex?
Ugh, Imma legume!
Funny joke..
One man say to other man, hey mister,why is your wife she so sad? the man answers, because she like apples.
Get it? apples?
What do you call a photographer who take pictures of groups of fish?
a school shooter
Why couldn’t the lifeguard save the hippie?
Because he was too far out!
... at a dating site ...On his deathbed...
An elderly Jewish man is on his deathbed. Summoning his last bit of strength, he lifts his head and whispers: "Is my beloved wife Sarah here with me?" And Sarah says, "Yes, darling, I am here."
He then says: "Are my children -- my wonderful children -- are they here with me?" And they reply, "Yes father, we are here with you to see you breathe your last."
And he says: "Are my brothers and sisters here with me as well?" And they too tell him that they are there.
So the old man lays back quietly, closes his eyes, and says, "If everybody is here ... why is the light on in the kitchen?"
... at Hospital ...Honestly... if I can find the chef or person responsible for this - as you call it - food, you`ll soon have a new patient!
A woman finds Aladdin’s magic lamp.
She starts rubbing it and a Genie comes out as usual. The woman looks at the Genie and asks him to grant her the following wishes:
- I want my husband to have eyes only for me
- I want to be the only one in his life
- I want that when he gets up in the morning I’m the first thing he grabs and takes me everywhere he goes.”
The Genie then turned the lady into an IPhone 14