Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...I had a dream last night about a nocturnal horse
Well, it was actually more of a night mare.
From my son, he is 5.
Son walks out of the bathroom with 2 tubes of toothpaste, 1 his the other mine: daddy, why does Tyler have 2 tubes of tooth paste.
Me: I’m not sure, why?
Son: Because Tylers is not paying attention.
I’m sorry I lost it, his face just got me.
One of the top questions I’ve been asked is “what’s the best way to spend your money when you’re homeless”
And from experience, I can say a mask and knife will work wonders for you.
I’m (20f) dating this guy (47m) and he’s so great.
I’ve know him for years. He’s brushes my hair better than anyone ever. And he even is good at giving manicures and pedicures. I guess you could say he’s an expert groomer.
A ghost goes to the dance with his Ghoulfriend
And he likes to call her his boo.
A leaf and an emo fall from a tree, who hits the ground first?
The leaf. The rope stopped the emo.
Cosmological loser
n. A person who is a waste of both space and time. .
What did the Y chromosome say to the X chromosome?
Any room for me in those genes?
What’s the similarity between boobs and Raspberry Pi computers?
Both were intended for kids but it’s the adults that end up playing with them more
Deserted island
A man is on an island he found his phone and calls help the man on the phone says help me im on an island T
The man of the rescue team asked where he was
The other man says on an island
When the man of the rescue team asked where the island was he said
In the sea