Things better not to say - random entries

An Irishman walks out of a bar.
Hey! It’s not funny! It could happen! It could!

Why do crypto nuts distain regular currency
I’ve never thought of Fiat as reliable

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German stop to watch a street performer.
The performer sees them arrive and since they’re at the back of the crowd asks them if they can see properly. “Yes.” “Oui.” “Si.” “Ja.”

As an endocrinologist, I have problems with pleasuring women.
I can’t even make a hormone!

How does a binary samurai kill people?
THEY/THEM

What did the police captain say when no one laughed at his disrespectful joke?
Dismissed!

Guy and a Girl on a first date.
Guy: "So, what kind of movies do you like?" Girl: "I like movies where I need a tissue." Guy: "Oh my god! Me too!"

There was a murder in the chicken coop
Authorities suspect fowl play.

What does a racist and laundry-men have in commen
They both want to separate the whites and the colours

Every overcooked a Hawaiian pizza?
Should have put it on aloha temperature

What did the princess say to Pinocchio after jumping of his face?
Lie to me Pinocchio

Its considered annoying to get a kink in your hose
Which is strange, because most people like kinky hoes

I ate nothing but beans for 48 hours
I now think I have Ass Purgers syndrome.