Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...Did you hear about the first restaurant to open on the moon?
It had great food, but no atmosphere.
Before it was carved
Mount Rushmore’s natural beauty was unpresidented.
What is the hardest part of being a vegetarian?
Eating vegetables.
...What is the hardest part of eating a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
My friend is a smoker and decided to read about the health risks of smoking.
He went online and read about how smoking can lead to cancer, and other health risks.
A few days later I meet up with him and find him overjoyed and full of energy, so I asked him what did he do to become so healthy.
He tells me while lighting a cigar: "I quit reading."
... Sayings ...Eating is a need of the stomach, drinking is a need of the soul. Eating is a common craft, drinking is an art. – Claude Tillier
Quack
A farmer is dying on his bed and debates on how he will split up the estate between his three sons. So he makes a contest and explains it to them that each with get a duck and who ever can get the most for the duck will inherit everything.
So the first son ventured out with his duck and spends all day trying to get the most for his duck and finds somebody that’s will to pay $15 dollars for it because they are going to eat it.
The second son goes out with his duck and spends all day trying to get the most for his duck and finds somebody that’s will to pay $10 dollars for it because they want it as a pet.
The third son goes out with his duck and spends all day and all night and can’t find anybody. Finally the son comes up to a hooker who he strikes up a conversation with and is willing to trade sex for the duck. They proceed to have amazing sex and the woman so pleased offers the duck back to him for round too. After the second romp the son now back with the duck walking home happy he had sex, but sad because he still has the duck when the duck jumps out of his arms and gets ran over by a car. The driver so distraught for running over the duck gives the son $20 for the duck.
The next day, all three sons are discussing their gains from the sell of the duck.
The first some explains that he got $15 because someone wanted it for diner. The second son states he got $10 because someone wanted the duck for a pet. The third some say, “ well, I got a fuck for a duck, a duck for a fuck, and 20 bucks for a fucked up duck.
People often say life is full of lessons, I disagree.......
I find it to be full of morons
Swedish government is not allowing the aircraft carrier Admiral Kuznetsov in their territorial waters
The main issues seem to be related to the working conditions of the rowers.