Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...Obi-Wan Disney+
Been watching this Kenobi show on Disney+ this Obi-Wan guy seems pretty cool I hope they do a series showing his back story I think he and that Darth Vader guy have a past that should be explored.
... Sayings ...What were the biggest threats to freedom of speech in 2022?
Hotel windows.
Noah and the snakes
According to the Bible, Noah built an ark and brought a pair of each animals on board to survive a flood. When the ark ran aground Noah told the animals to go forth and multiply.
The snakes told Noah “We can’t multiply, we’re adders.”
Noah gathered some driftwood tree trunks and built a platform for the snakes. Even adders can multiply when given a log table.
You might have to be older than me to understand this. People on reddit who are older than me are rare, but they exist.
Head & Shoulders
A Blonde and a Brunette on an elevator going to the first floor. A good looking guy wearing all black gets in the elevator and gets off in the 2nd floor, before the guy exits the elevator, the Brunette notices that he has dandruff on his shoulders. When the door closes the brunette tells the blonde. Cute guy but someone needs to give him some Head & Shoulders. The blonde asked, How do you give shoulders?
An arab walks into a surfboard shop (the worst answer from r/followthepunchline)
An arab walks into a surfboard shop.
“Excuse me, Sir.”
“Hey, Bro-hamed! Back so soon?”
“Yes. I’m very embarrassed but…”
“Dude. I’m just about to go for my smoke break. Want to share a camel?”
“Uh. No thank you. I drove my car. Look. This is very embarrassing but my wife demanded I return this defective product.”
“*Sheikh* it off, Bro. So, what happened when you rubbed your surfboard with the Sex Wax (TM)?”
Mohammed does spit take to the camera.
“… my *surfboard* ?!?!”
End of scene.
I just saw two hotdogs and a burger stumble out of a club, blind drunk and blazed on coke and weed. I was disgusted...
I hate to see food wasted like that. Frugal upbringing.
There is a fine line between the denominator and the numerator
Only a fraction of people will find this funny
I tell jokes at my high-school over the announcements and I was looking for some
You got any spares I could use