Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...LIFE HACK: If you want to learn every Spanish cuss word, just say these two words in a room full of Hispanic people.
"Yolanda Saldívar."
Where does a sheep sit in the car during a road trip?
In the Ba a a ack
... during a Job Interview ...Ok what’s the difference between the Titantic and California?
At least the lights were on when the Titanic sank.
Thank you, tip your bartenders ladies and gents…..
Would you like to fuck?
Him: Would you like to fuck tomorrow?
Her: WHAT?
Him: Sorry, stupid autocorrect. Made me look like a pervert.
Her: Oh okay, what did you mean?
Him: Would you like to fuck today?*
PS: Got this from somewhere.
My friend said that he couldn’t afford to pay his huge water bill...
So, I sent him a get well soon card.
... during Sex ...Yo mama so.....
Yo mama so down on his ass he thinks he can get away with anything and be forgiven with the following words, "what. do. you. want. (bleep)"
okay.
I have seen that attitude from my own mother in the past.
I never understood why she always said that.
And I never understood when she just took a look at me and said "suck it up, fatty."
(the real meaning of that saying was "tough it out, no tears, just deal.")
My coworker just found out she won’t be able to attend next week’s Innuendo Conference…
I guess I’ll have to fill her slot instead.
Why did the therapist break up with their partner?
Because they kept saying they needed space, but the therapist knew that avoiding intimacy was a classic symptom of attachment disorder.
Why are Gay men bad at comedy?
Because they can’t be the straight man.
A chemistry lab is a lot like a party...
Some people drop acid while others drop the base.