Things better not to say - random entries

Why are demolitions experts so good at skydiving?
They always look C4 they leap

My girlfriend in high school was nicknamed Titanic
She had a large gash

A man annoyed from his long nails
"This is getting out of hand" he said while going to clip them.

The Titanic would not have sank if Global Warming was happening at the turn of that century.
Let that sink in.

Yo momma is like a Texas Roadhouse
She will just let you bust your nuts anywhere you want.

Do you know why Fortnite added the "Thank the bus driver" feature?
They had to dedicate something to Rosa Parks

What does Kevin Spacey and Caviar have in common?
They both come on little white crackers.

Asked my boss when my raise becomes effective
He said "When you do."

What’s the difference in a dog and a yard?
One foot.

What do you call a huge German guy pointing a gun at you?
Whatever he wants you to call him

What do you call the online version of a popular Japanese desert?
An e-mochi

Know why Texas had to get rid of abortion?
They had to replace those kids they lost a couple weeks ago

A skeleton walks into a bar.
He says; “can I have a pint of lager and a mop please?”