Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...I asked my optometrist why he was starting to look like an eyeglass?
And he said it was in order to make a spectacle of himself.
Why was the biologist watching porn?
He was studying different hormones.
... at Facebook ...What do you do if you meet a bodybuilder at a junction?
Give him the right of whey
Emotional Party
Myself and my friend went to a fancy dress party. You needed to dress as an emotion. We went to the supermarket and I got a pear and put my dick in it while he got some custard and did the same. When we got to the fancy dress party the host was appalled and said we had completely missed the point. We were to come dressed as emotions. I said we had. I had come in despair and my friend was fucking disgusted.
How do you measure a non-binary person’s temperature?
With a themometer!
A Lawyer and an Honest Man
Bill and Phil were taking a stroll through a graveyard when they happened upon a tombstone with the epitaph, "Here lies a Lawyer and an Honest Man"
Bill looked at Phil and said, "Times must have been tough back then, they were burying them two deep."
If you use pronoun "they" regulary...
You are probably a Christian talking about Trinity, three distinct persons sharing one essence.
Today I went for a walk with a beautiful girl.
Then she noticed me so we went for a run.
What do you call it when two cephalopods do favors for each other?
Squid Pro Quo.
... at a Date ...Lying next to me in my double bed: laptop, book, mobile phone, chocolate... I wouldn`t even know what to do with a man!
Errors are red, the screen is in blue
I think you just deleted system32