Things better not to say - random entries

My wife said you’re a pisces, you live outside of the box
I told her no, I live outside of the aquarium. She didn’t laugh :(

Where do kangaroos like to eat?
IHOP

My junks name is Little Caesar.
Because no one is going to stab him in his back.

What does a robot do after sex?
He nuts and bolts

There once was a man from Dundee
Who loved to play D and D. He runs awesome games. That last many days. But the only player is he!

I needed socks for outdoors winter.
I thought I would need two layers. So I bought two *pairs...* ​ Read my username.

What’s the difference between Joe Biden and a race car?
A race car can move at 200mph

My friend said that he couldn’t afford to pay his huge water bill...
So, I sent him a get well soon card.

My girlfriend was impressed that I could hold an erection for nearly 6 hours.
I was even more impressed that my neighbour could maintain an erection for that long, let alone let me hold it.

I used to work for an origami company
Until it folded

My cat lost his hind legs but he can’t afford to buy himself prosthetic ones.
He’s two paw.

Did you hear about the murderer who kills victims in a circle shape?
He got arrested for 360 degree murder

No Name brands is releasing a new No Name product.
It is yet to be determined.