Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...a tiger was hunting steadily after a kangaroo then suddenly..
they had a tigeroo?
My wife and I made a date to make a baby...
But I had to pull out at the last minute.
I was voted “Least likely to Succeed” by my high school class.
I hate being a teacher.
... Sayings ...This for him and that for that. Many tables are set. No tongue should mock what the other tongue likes. Let everyone have his joys, grant him that he refreshes himself when he looks modestly and modestly at his own plate. However, if at your table he teases and disturbs you impertinently, give him a swipe so that he realizes what is proper. - Wilhelm Busch
What do you call a bunch of employees caught sleeping on the job?
A Dream Team.
TIL it is impossible to cross your eyes and stick your tongue out at the same time...
Without looking really dumb.
...
And being told to put your phone away while sitting in church.
Don’t know if this has been told
Where do milk shakes come from?
California Cows
... during Sports ...That moment when you jog past other people and breathe extra quietly.
... at a Club ...I’m back with another shitty joke for y’all. So an armed man runs into a real estate agency and screams…
NOBODY MOVE!!!
My wife asked me if she looked fat in her new dress.
I told her: "You look like a beautiful shining star"
She replied: "Awhh..."
But then I added: "A neutron star" and she slapped me.
I was hoping she was too dense to understand the joke.