Things better not to say - random entries
... at Facebook ...Shy men are usually the better lovers, I hardly dare write anything on FB...I`m that shy
... Jokes ...For the sake of simplicity, God made Catholic Heaven and Catholic Hell exactly the same.
Everyone is nailed to the cross.
I once saw my friend fighting a pregnant women
So I joined him to make it a two-on-two
I was lucky to get sent to an all Vegetarian prison
They never toy with fresh meat.
How do you call someone who loves to kiss people on their neck?
Neck-romancer.
Also: One can not raise a family in peace these days. Its realy hard to be a necromancer...
My wife and I watched three films back to back last night….
Luckily I was the one facing the telly
What would happen if you cut Chewbacca off in traffic?
He Wookiee your car!
... at a Date ...A kid hands over his paycheck to his dad
With tears streaming down his eyes dad tells him “It was just like yesterday you were sitting at home playing that dumb video game of yours all day”
Son taking away the check says “Today they paid me at the gaming development company I work at”
"Was it a trainee?"
- Not the best question to ask if your wife wants your opinion on her new haircut.
I wear my watch as a status symbol.
It tells people I'm single and having financial problems.