Things better not to say - random entries

The color of your eyes goes so well with my bedding.

What did the snail say when she got raped?
It all happened so fast!

How do you make Bob Dylan cum really far?
Blow him in the wind

Did you hear the story about the dwarf who was caught climbing down a prison wall?
It was a little condescending.

You`re so fat, you buy HULA HOOPs that fit you, don`t you?

My ex girlfriend keeps telling everyone that I have a baby penis. It`s really nobody`s business that it`s 50 centimeters long and weighs 3.5 kilograms.

Assassinating Hitler
Two Jews decided to kill Hitler. They hid themselves at a location where they had been told Hitler must go. But they waited and waited. The hours passed, and still no Hitler. One of the would-be assassins turned to the other and said, "where could he be? I hope nothing happened to him."

What do you call an Asian soup always craving sex?
Miso horny

A woman asked a boy
Woman:Where is your house? Boy: Infront of my school. Woman:Where is your school? Boy: Infront of my house. Woman:Where are they?! Boy: Infront of each other

Why did the narcissist cross the road?
Because they were told it was a boundary.

A joke for introverts
Knock knock!

My grandfather has the heart of a lion...
And a lifetime ban at the zoo

After the accident, the actor enjoyed a bit of time away from work.
His buddy had told him to break a leg, so he did.