Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...Two junkies are crawling on rails
One tells the other: "Dude, this ladder is so fucking long!"
He replies: "Bro, chill, I see the elevator going."
My wife asked me why I kept telling her to walk in front of me at the airport,
I said “the person over the loud speaker said to keep my things in my sight at all times.”
Have you heard of the new government agency, the DPON?
It’s the National Organization for People with Dyslexia.
Two Cowboys Are Lost In The Desert
They are satarving slowly but surely... One cowboy sees a tree that is draped in bacon. “A bacon tree he exclaims - We are saved!!”. He runs towards the tree but is then riddled with gunfire.
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It wasn’t a bacon tree. It was a Ham-Bush
My wife filed for divorce because I am a weather reporter.
That was not what I predicted
... during Sex ...I dream of feeling your body. Dream about touching your skin. Dreaming of kissing you everywhere and not having to dream.
How do you distinguish Kanye from a deepfake attempting to hurt his reputation?
The more reasonable one is the deepfake.
... to your Boss ...Since drinking alcohol on public transport is no longer allowed, I always have to walk to work.
Why did the sperm cross the road ?
Because I put on the wrong sock this morning