Things better not to say - random entries

Black sow!

What’s brown and sticky?
My boomerang that won’t come back.

I just got tackled in a game of football by a bird.
It was a fowl.

There you are... and I`ve searched all the mental institutions.

Of course I got kicked out of my last job, otherwise I wouldn`t be here now.

Did I ever tell you the joke about my favorite garden herb?
No? Well, it’s about thyme!

Came up with this while driving from Texas to Florida
**How long does it take to drive from Louisiana to Alabama?** About one Mississippi.

I love Korean food
It’s the Dog’s Bollocks

When I was young, I set a life goal for myself: I will buy a Lamborghini at the age of 40. This year, I’ve finally achieved half of the goal.
I turned 40.

I know milk makes you beautiful, but how much did you drink as a kid?

How to Prevent the Spread of Infection
The health department was having a talk with an architect and asked him, "How do you plan to prevent the spread of infection in your buildings?" The architect replied, "The halls will have special baths, and the men will shower before and after they work."

Jesus opened a brewery. Do you know what he called it??
HeBrew

I was watching a horror movie with my wife
When suddenly is screamed, “close your eyes, a ghost is coming!!!” I was half way through asking why I should close my eyes when I took a full load to the face.