Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...( This joke was made up by my eight year old son. ) Why did the letters lose the battle against the numbers?
They were outnumbered.
What did Napoleon and his ex-wife do after getting divorced in Canada?
Bone apart eh
A joke my Uncle tells. Makes me laugh every time..
Somewhere deep down south a man dials 9-1-1..
Operator: “Emergency services. Is there a problem?”
Man: “Hi, uhh ya. I jus’ came home and I foun’ my wife lyin’ dead on tha floor.”
Operator: “I am so sorry to hear that sir. How would you like us to assist you?”
Man: “Yea, uhh. I’d like yew to come an’ pick ‘er up.”
Operator: “I’ll send someone right over. Can you inform me of the address?”
Man: “ Yea, I live a’ 103 Alemeter Drive.”
Operator: “Okay, and can you spell that for me?”
Man: “Uh-huh. It’s A-L-A… wait, A-L-E.. nah that’s can’t be right… A-L… uhhh.”
Man: “Hell, I’ll drag ‘er ova ta oak street an’ yew can pick ‘er up there!”
... at Christmas ...Christmas would be so much nicer if there weren't raisins in everything.
LPT: Follow the given three steps in order to successfully accomplish a murder.
1. Set out a few high-mounted boxes with hole in the front of them.
2. Scatter about several boxes filled with cashews.
3. Be sure to do this in a place crows frequent.
Sad News.
Thomas The Tank Engine was feeling sad today after hearing,
His good friend "Robbie Coal Train" had died.
I dropped 4 tabs of acid yesterday
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>!So I picked them up!<
Dark humor
my son told me he wanted to be spider-man so i put him infront of an oncoming train with string, he is not getting up He is such a great little actor
I am so mad.
I had 2 WNBA tickets in my car.
Somebody broke into my car last night and I have 4 WNBA tickets now.
... during Sex ...I love your left leg like Christmas and your right leg like Easter. May I come over between the holidays?