Things better not to say - random entries
LLLIIIISTEN.....did ypu know bananas are good for your memory?
My wife put one in my ass two months ago & I remember it.
Guy told me to "get a life" today.
So I took his.
I know every single digit of pi!
Just not in the right order
Did someone forget to take their meds, mhhhh?
What do you call a camel with three humps?
Your mom is so dumb,
She thought the Encyclopedia Brittanica struck an iceberg and sank
I’ve always found it fascinating that no matter how much you chew corn, it always comes out whole when going to the bathroom.
That’s why I eat the cob too…
Why does a blonde leave the toilet door open? Answer: So you can`t look through the keyhole.
What does santa claus wish for christmas?
Ho* ho* ho*
Three Wise Men walked across the desert...
They were on their way to see the newly born son of Christ, baby Jesus. They each had a gift for the child. One had Frankincense, one had gold, and the other had myrrh. The journey was long and tiresome so they stopped off in a small village on the way for some rest. They checked in to a local inn, and went to explore the village for some food and drink. While exploring, they came across a brothel. The three wise men looked at each other and shrugged. What would God know? He was most likely busy admiring his new son, they all thought. They all went in, one after the other, still carrying their gifts with them so as to not lose them. They stayed through the night, and after spending their time "relaxing" in the brothel - all satisfied by the women inside, the three wise men continued their journey to Bethlehem to deliver their gifts to Jesus. They finally arrived in Bethlehem and made their way to the manger where Mary and Jesus lay. The three wise men handed their gifts to Jesus, spoke with Mary and gave their blessings to Jesus and the family, and left. However, just as they stepped outside, the skies darkened and a loud voice was heard. It was God. "You three men have sinned - none of you are married yet each of you had sex in that brothel last night. You even held the same gifts which you gave to my son! What say you? Answer for your heinous sins at once, or be sent to Hell for eternal damnation!" he said. The three men stared at each other, eyes wide, ready to face the punishment laid out before them when one of the men stepped forward to speak to God. "My Lord, I have a good explanation for all of this... We cum bearing gifts!"
Dear Santa, I've been good all year... Well, mostly... OK, sometimes... It's okay - I'll buy it myself.
how do people in wheelchairs go down stairs?
Wurst Penis is changing his name...
...to **Penis Mightierthanthesword**