Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...Budweiser
Budweiser is singlehandedly responsible for the transgender movement...
They have been identifying as beer this whole time
I like my sex the way I like my pickpocketing.
Nowhere near security cameras.
What do you call something that disappears when brown people become good at it?
A sport from the Common Wealth Games list of events.
My wife said that I always treat my kid unfairly.
I don’t even know which one she means, Tommy, Tina or the fat ugly one.
... to a pregnant women ...Sleep as much as you can! You`ll never get any sleep again!
What does the Russian say when you ask him, "Do you want to build a snowman?"
He says, "Is not snowman, is snow comrade."
A family of animal lovers goes out of town for a week and their beloved pets decide to give them a complete home makeover:
The birds: “we’ll do the painting and make the walls the colors of our beautiful feathers!”
The cats: “we’ll do the flooring and make sure every corner is perfect!”
The hamsters: “we’re so tiny, we can get into the wiring and make sure everything is up to date and safe!”
What did the dogs do?
The Roofing
Cola kisses orange, Mr. chocolate bar has Ms. milk glass... Even groceries have a more exciting love life than me.
There was a Japanese man who went to America for sightseeing.
On the last day, he hailed a cab and told the driver to drive to the airport.
During the journey, a Honda drove past the taxi. Thereupon, the man leaned out of the window excitedly and yelled, “Honda, very fast! Made in Japan!”
After a while, a Toyota sped past the taxi. Again, the Japanese man leaned out of the window and yelled, “Toyota, very fast! Made in Japan!”
And then a Mitsubishi sped past the taxi. For the third time, the Japanese leaned out of the window and yelled, “Mitsubishi, very fast! Made in Japan!”
The driver was a little angry, but he kept quiet. And this went on for quite a number of cars. Finally, the taxi came to the airport.
The fare was US$300. The Japanese exclaimed, “Wah… so expensive!”
There upon, the driver yelled back, “Meter, very fast! Made in Japan!”