Things better not to say - random entries

What is it called when you poop a thin wooden rod?
A dowel movement.

What’s the difference between a Medieval knight and a modern cop?
Only one has the courage and will to face death head on.

I`d like to tell you a joke about my penis, but it`s too long.

Who do you have to rape to get a glass of water?

What does a cat from south eastern china speak?
Catonese.

I’ve just found out there’s an actual clinical name for the condition where you can’t sleep and just eat instead
It’s called insom-nom-nom-nom-nia

I really hate meetings
I really wish “me” werent in meetings

The movie had an happy ending, but I was sad
.. they didn’t show it. It was censored.

What do you call a mad immigrant?
An immi-grunt!

A woman asked a boy
Woman:Where is your house? Boy: Infront of my school. Woman:Where is your school? Boy: Infront of my house. Woman:Where are they?! Boy: Infront of each other

What is first green and than red.
​ ​ ​ A frog in a blender.

Where’s the sauciest part of the Middle East?
Hellmann’s Province

I`m a secret agent and I need a cover, can I stay with you for a week?