Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...What kind of doctor should you not visit?
The one who says “see ya” before you are about to leave the doctor’s room..
if you made a Venn diagram of Rick And Morty fans and Tool fans what would it look like?
Would it be a Perfect Circle?
... to your Boyfriend ...My mother told me my brother was in France to get Hormone Replacement Therapy.
That was how I found out she was abroad.
Why are quantum physicists such bad lovers?
When they find the position, they can’t find the momentum. And if they do find the momentum, then they can’t find the position.
I thought they testicle convention would be a good place to relax and unwind, but...
...it was just nuts!
My nephew will be a comedian!
Last night my 7 year old nephew asked me what should you never do in Minecraft? I say go into creative mode because that ruins the game. He stares me down and says no Seth, DON’T WASTE YOUR DIAMONDS ON HOES.
... to your Girlfriend ...During childbirth, women can ALMOST feel the pain that men feel when they have a man's flu.
Jill sees a gorilla in a tree in her yard
So she calls the police informing them of what she has seen. The dispatch informed her to use the phone book to find a gorilla catcher near her.
Sure enough there is a section of gorilla catchers. So she calls and one arrives at her property. Bob shows up with handcuffs, pit bull, and a shotgun. So bob explains to Jill that he will need her help. He will climb up the tree. Shake the tree until the gorilla falls and the dog will go for the gorillas crotch. The gorilla will be in so much pain that you will be able to easily handcuff the gorilla.
So bob is about to climb up when jill ask what about the shotgun. Bob says “oh I forgot the most important part, sometimes while shaking the tree, I may fall off instead. If that’s the case I need you to shoot the f’ing dog”
How can a woman tell a guy is struggling while going down on her?
He asks for some chips to go with the fish.