Things better not to say - random entries

The Russian War in Ukraine is going so badly ...
... that Republicans are thinking of putting up statues of Russian Generals and naming Army bases after them.

What’s grey and not important?
An irrelephant

Putin is not all bad
He is expected to greatly decrease the incidence of gaslighting across Europe.

Why’s it so hard to break up with your Japanese girlfriend?
Because you have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the idea.

Did you know that there was a corvette known for exploding?
It was the C4

Why did Emperor Palpatine have so much trouble walking around?
He had Darth Ritis

what do you call a person without a spine?
Dead.

why did the sperm cross the road?
Cause I put on the wrong socks again.

I tried setting a password for my new Reddit account.
I put in “MyDick”. It said the password was too short.

Guy runs into a bar
Guy [runs into a bar, yelling]: "Quick! How tall is a penguin?" Bartender: "Three feet tall"
Guy: "Oh my God! I just ran over a nun!"

I went into Whole Foods…
And I said, “That’s a whole lot of money for food!”

What’s more beautiful than roses on a piano?
Tulips on an organ.

how does bin laden like his donuts?
Plane