Things better not to say - random entries
This guy was finishing his dinner at a restaurant...
...and the waiter said "How did you find your steak sir?" The guy said "By accident. I moved my baked potato and there it was."
I like my women like I like my r/jokes jokes.
The same one over and over and over again.
The one thing I hate about superhero movies is how unrealistic they are,
Like what are the chances that a billionaire would do anything to help ordinary people?
I walked into a pub with my wife. The Landlord said “Would you like a beer for your wife?”
I said: “That sounds like a fair swap.
Melinda: So what will you name this tech company?
Bill: How am I bed?
Melinda: Say no more..
A man was seeking wisdom from a tribal elder...
The Elder told him to cut down a tree, strip it of all limbs, and plant it in front of the sacred grounds. The man did this and went back to the Elder. The Elder said, now remove it, cut down a taller tree and repeat the process. The man did this again, and the Elder told him a third time to repeat the process. By this time the man was tired and angry and asked "Why do you make me do this over and over?" And the wise man said, Reddit likes reposts.
I like to think I’m a pretty good man. I give over 50% of my paycheck to Charity.
But when she’s not working I give it to Destiny.
... Jokes ...
... Sayings ...