Things better not to say - random entries

the waitert asked me if i wanted a box for my food
i said no but ill wrestle you for em!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have a friend who only knows masturbation jokes
He says they cum in handy

Stuck on a crossword.. “according to the saying, these should be seen but not heard” 8 letters, starts with a C.
I got it, Coldplay.

Where Did The 10mm Find The 45?
in Cali bruh! >!Cali-bruh, calibre, caliber.!<

First time I ever had sex I thought:
"Mmmm, this is expensive"

what is orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot

A pilsner fits between the liver and spleen.

The cows that my friend owned were killed off by a sandstorm
It was an udder disaster

I had a blind date
And she had a date with Brad Pitt.

Remember, Chemically Speaking
Bourbon *is* a solution

Did you hear about the murderer who kills victims in a circle shape?
He got arrested for 360 degree murder

Why was the bunny feeling depressed?
>!Because he was having a bad hare day!!<

are you an alien Because there is no such thing as you on earth!