Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...What kind of doctor should you not visit?
The one who says “see ya” before you are about to leave the doctor’s room..
What’s green, fuzzy, has 4 legs and will kill you if it falls out of a tree?
A Pool Table
I really got into investing in those DTF’s
But whenever I arrange a trade men come over and have sex with me for money. And i gotta tell ya this market has been a real pain in the ass .
A pirate walks into a bar with one of those big wooden ship steering wheels shoved down the front of his pants…
The bartender says, “Man, that looks uncomfortable. What is that big wooden ship steering wheel doing in your pants?” And the pirate says…
“ARRRRGH! It’s drivin’ me NUTS!”
When I die
I have two requests.
First, I want my remains scattered around Disney World.
Second, I do not want to be cremated.
(not mine)
Controversial to popular belief there are three rings involved with marriage.
First there is the engagement ring to prove your love for your partner.
Second there is the wedding ring to prove your eternal love and devotion.
And thirdly, there is ring that everyone wears after the honeymoon phase is over that is the suffering.
Dirty Pig
Customer is disgusted when she sees a baker crimping a pie with his false teeth.
“Have you now got a tool for that job, you filthy pig”
“Yes, I use that for the doughnuts!!
After a night of drinking, I woke up with a Mohawk.
Not the haircut...a big sweaty Indian dude.
What is the difference between a comedian and a priest?
They both take your money and only one makes you laugh.
Did you hear about the Dutch man who went home with an English woman?
The Dutch man was confused as to why she kept asking him to pick her most beautiful side.