Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...When the Mexican guy forgot his ticket to the water park, the employee let him in anyway
“Typically I’m a stickler about this sort of thing,” he remarked “But I’m gonna let this Juan slide.”
Is anyone behaving badly just to get coal in their stocking...
... so they can heat their house?
... Sayings ...Quack
A farmer is dying on his bed and debates on how he will split up the estate between his three sons. So he makes a contest and explains it to them that each with get a duck and who ever can get the most for the duck will inherit everything.
So the first son ventured out with his duck and spends all day trying to get the most for his duck and finds somebody that’s will to pay $15 dollars for it because they are going to eat it.
The second son goes out with his duck and spends all day trying to get the most for his duck and finds somebody that’s will to pay $10 dollars for it because they want it as a pet.
The third son goes out with his duck and spends all day and all night and can’t find anybody. Finally the son comes up to a hooker who he strikes up a conversation with and is willing to trade sex for the duck. They proceed to have amazing sex and the woman so pleased offers the duck back to him for round too. After the second romp the son now back with the duck walking home happy he had sex, but sad because he still has the duck when the duck jumps out of his arms and gets ran over by a car. The driver so distraught for running over the duck gives the son $20 for the duck.
The next day, all three sons are discussing their gains from the sell of the duck.
The first some explains that he got $15 because someone wanted it for diner. The second son states he got $10 because someone wanted the duck for a pet. The third some say, “ well, I got a fuck for a duck, a duck for a fuck, and 20 bucks for a fucked up duck.
Just caught
Just caught my wife masturbating with a carrot. I thought “I can’t believe I was going to eat that later
Now it’s going to taste of carrots.
Quasimodo was feeling down about being ugly. His mother sent him to ask the magic mirror who’s is the ugliest person in the world.
A few minutes later Quasimodo came back and asked “Who’s Elon Musk?”
The fortune teller told me I’d lose one of my closest friends in 13-14 years.
To cope with this news, I bought a puppy.
Vladimir Putin is crossing the border into Ukraine …
The customs agent asks him:
“So what is your purpose of travel. Leisure? Vacation?”
Putin replies:
“No, only for my occupation.”
... at Office ...Confucius say fat man walking through airport door sideways...
...is going to Bangkok