Things better not to say - random entries

The little man`s sunshine is fuck and get drunk.

You have the same bra as my mother.

Why do men find it so difficult to solve puzzles after taking Viagra?
Because they just keep getting harder and harder.

the wise masters wisdom
As a young adventurer I visited the Himalayas and I heard of a long and beautiful hike at the end of which I could meet a wise master. The journey was as rewarding as it was a challenge, and at the end I found a little old man with a long beard and a handmade cane in a cave. I waved to him, and he beckoned for me to come. "I am the wise master." He said. "If you ask me for my wisdom, I will hit you with this stick. If you do not ask me for my wisdom, I will hit you with this stick." I thought about this for a moment. "Well, wise Master. I hiked all this way, and either way you will hit me with the stick - so I might as well learn your wisdom." Wise master smiled, took the stick, and gave me a hard whap on the head. "The answer is to take the stick away, idiot." He said. "That is my wisdom, go away."

If having sex for money makes you a whore,
Does having sex for free make you a non-profit whorganisation?

What do you get when you cross a small dog with a donkey?
A Jack Russell Derrière.

Do people with wind chimes know?
…That not owning wind chimes is also an option.

Putin and Lukashenko are riding in a car when it crashes. Who survives?
The world

What does the mafia and a pussy have in common?
One slip of the tongue and you’re in deep shit

What do you call a lizard that can punctuate five times in a row?
A comma comma comma comma comma chameleon!

Another attack on American freedom
Orchestrated by the Coat Hanger industry.

What do a Christmas tree and an old man have in common?
The wood is dead, and the balls are just for decoration.

I don’t know why Thieves Forest has such a bad reputation
I just moved here and I’ve already had 20 people offer to help me move in