Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...A trapeze’s artist checks his credit score
A trapeze’s artist checks his credit score online. His credit score went from 700 to 500 in the past week. Naturally this worries him, and so he called his bank. An agent answers,
“How can I help you today?” the agent asks
“Yea, I just checked my credit score online and it fell from about 700 to 500. I’m concerned because I have no idea how it got so low,”
“I understand your concern. Let me look at your account and see what’s going on,”
After about a minute the agent replies, “Sir, what is your occupation?”
“I’m a trapeze’s artist but why is that relevant?”
“Well it would appear that you have an outstanding balance,”.
An early easter joke
A pious man once encountered Jesus Christ and asked, "Lord, what is it that you desire from me?" The messiah replied, "Follow me." Together, they embarked on a journey that led them across a plain for two days. The man, curious about their pilgrimage, asked, "Master, where are you taking me?" To which Jesus replied, "Follow me." They continued on for three more days, walking through a dense forest. The man, becoming tired and weary, inquired again, "Master, where are we headed?" Jesus simply replied, "Follow me." Eventually, they arrived at the base of a mountain so high that it was shrouded in clouds and snow. Jesus began to climb, and the man followed despite suffering from altitude sickness, exhaustion, and frostbite. Four days later, they finally reached the summit, and the man asked with anticipation, "Master, what pilgrimage have you brought me on?" Jesus pointed in the distance and said,
​
"You can see my house from here!"
What did the man with leprosy say to the prostitute?
Just keep the tip
Why did the quantum physicist have such toned abs?
Because they planck constant.
What is the difference between Dutch food and British food history?
Their Prime Minister fate
Yo momma so fat
When she goes to the zoo, the elephants throw peanuts at her
... while Driving ...I`ve been thinking about leaving my car next month. Sort of like a challenge. The idea came from Flensburg.
Did you hear about the two friends who always edited photos together?
They were sharecroppers.
My first girlfriend had an identical twin
It was every middle schooler’s dream! A hot chick with an identical sister and all the fantasies you could imagine. So there I was during summer break, I decide to head over to my girlfriend’s house.
I walk in and I’m instantly greeted by whom I thought was my girlfriend, but little did I know how confused I was, and what a trip awaited. One thing led to another and next thing you know, I fucked her dad.
The resemblance was uncanny!