Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...What did the French meme lord say to his parents as he turned 19?
Sugon dix neufs
Water solves so many health problems.
Want to lose weight? Drink water.
Want clearer skin? Drink water.
Suffer from migraines? Drink water.
People causing you anxiety? Drown them in water.
Vladimir Putin’s poop
Recent news reports have stated that Vladimir Putin’s bodyguards have to collect his excrement every time he defecates when out of Russia. It was believed that this was to stop Western intelligence analysing Putin’s excrement to study his health. However the truth is that Putin, as a taunt to the Ukraine, posts a box containing his excrement to the Ukrainian President, Volodymyr Zelenskyy. Putin believes that is childish prank will break Ukraine’s will to fight on. However Zelenskyy has again got the better of Putin. Every time Zelenskyy defecates he takes a picture of his dump and sends the picture to Putin via electronic message over the internet to Putin’s inbox. This shows Zelenskyy’s contempt for Putin is greater as everyone knows the email of the faeces is deadlier than the mail!
Why did the lettuce open the refrigerator?
Because he wanted to see the salad dressing.
A man and a woman are on the game show “Password”…
The password is “horsecock”
Panicked, the guy starts to look around, trying to figure out how to describe this word to this poor woman. “How are they even using this filthy word on TV!?” Realizing he has to say SOMETHING, he starts:
Man: “Um, it’s big…”
Woman: “Hmm, will it fit in my mouth?”
Man: “oh…uhm…well, maybe?”
Woman: “Is it horsecock?”
I can’t believe how much balloons cost now
They have really inflated in price
My wife said she wanted to give me a three-way for my birthday.
I asked, "What are their names?"
What did the 9 say to the 10?
I’m really glad you’re here because a 9 next to an 11 would be a real tragedy.
Do you know why you should not use viagra as an antidepressant?
Because it just makes everything harder and harder.
Why does Putin hate women?
He dreams of touching Dnieper but keeps getting shut down.