Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...Somebody just called me fat
I didnt start a fight and simply walked away because I’m the bigger person
... Sayings ...God invented wine, God invented beer, but we distilled the schnapps.
Man looks like you're having a kid? What am I pregnant? No, just looks like it.
Anyone else thought that a brothel was a soup kitchen?
I went in expecting beef or chicken,
I got fish!
What do your sisters pussy and CBD weed have in common?
Tastes the same but feels wrong.
What do you call a Marine wearing an Air Force uniform?
Artificial intelligence
Nerd Alert: Graffiti Found in the Science Building of a University
"Heisenberg may have been here, but not with Pauli."
A cruel and spiteful restauranteur whose restaurants only served Pepsi products, died suddenly, and was shocked to find himself in heaven
As he approached the pearly gates, St Peter cheerily asked, “Would hell be OK instead?”
Silly Joke from Sunny (please mods dont delete this one, im trying my best not to break the rules ._. )
A man had a flat tire on his way home, he had no signal on his phone so he was forced to wander to the nearest town on foot. There he came across 2 houses next to each other. he knocked on the first house but noone open the door. The man saw light coming out the window and natually he took a look inside. there he saw a woman shaving her leg in the livingroom, and a man standing in the kitchen holding one finger inside a fishbowl and another finger pointing to his butt.
with no luck getting their attention, the man outside decided to knock on the second house. There he knocked and finally could ask for help towing his car. the man also explained the homeowner what he had seen the first house he came to ask for help.
the homeowner sigh and replyed: yeah this couple are deaf, the woman probably said to her husband to mow the lawn, and her husband replyed that she could kiss his ass because he wanted to go fishing.
I saw the quiet kid with some graph paper today
Im pretty sure he was plotting something
Alabama
Why do people in Alabama not do "reverse cowgirl"?
You never turn your back on family.