Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...How many babys does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them
Every time I’m having a microwave meal, I turn on the movie “The Golden Eye”.
The instructions say —Pierce film before cooking.
... at Facebook ...What do you call a dog that gets frosting all over its fur?
A pupcake.
So my girlfriend broke up with me today
She said she wants to work it out with her husband
Son asks dad “how much does marriage cost?”
Dad: “i don’t know son I’m still paying for it”
I just sports car being driven by a sheep wearing a swimsuit.
I think it was a lamb bikini
... at a Date ...My condoms are about to expire, we should use them while we still can.
Took my wife to the doctor to find out what’s going on with her??
Took my wife to the doctor to get looked at. The doctor says it could be two things either
A) She has aids or B) She has Alzheimer’s.
I asked the doctor how easy is it to tell which one she has.
He replies take her and drop her off in the woods. If she finds her way back home don’t fuck her
I just got fired for arranging vegetables in sexually suggestive poses.
Apparently, that’s not suitable behaviour for a special needs teacher.
A Roman walks into a bar…
He holds up two fingers and says “five shots down here!”
How do you make extra virgin olive oil from regular olive oil?
Dating advice from a Redditor.