Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...What does a grenade and a wife have in common?
Pull the ring and there goes the house!
Dad, Dad, I got my first blowjob today!!!
How was it??
Tasted Terrible!
What do you call an argument between two drunks after last call?
A spirited debate.
... Sayings ...A person`s true character is revealed when a second checkout opens at the supermarket.
Little Johnny joke.
During the concert little Johnny sits in the front row waiting for the concert to begin.
A friend asks: "Johnny, how did you manage to get a ticket to the concert?"
Johnny replies: "I got a ticket from my sister."
The friend asks: "And where is your sister?"
Johnny says: "Back at home, looking for her ticket."
Balls are like energy points but in real life
sometimes you don’t have enough
Gore Vidal on marriage
My father was an atheist and my mother was Christian. They had an arrangement to respect each other’s beliefs.
One week they wouldn’t go to her service and the next they wouldn’t go to his.
Silly Joke from Sunny (please mods dont delete this one, im trying my best not to break the rules ._. )
A man had a flat tire on his way home, he had no signal on his phone so he was forced to wander to the nearest town on foot. There he came across 2 houses next to each other. he knocked on the first house but noone open the door. The man saw light coming out the window and natually he took a look inside. there he saw a woman shaving her leg in the livingroom, and a man standing in the kitchen holding one finger inside a fishbowl and another finger pointing to his butt.
with no luck getting their attention, the man outside decided to knock on the second house. There he knocked and finally could ask for help towing his car. the man also explained the homeowner what he had seen the first house he came to ask for help.
the homeowner sigh and replyed: yeah this couple are deaf, the woman probably said to her husband to mow the lawn, and her husband replyed that she could kiss his ass because he wanted to go fishing.
... to your Girlfriend ...You can say that you love kids in almost any language, and you will sound wholesome.
But you say it in latin *one* time...