Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...No one prepared me for how many times I would hear “guess what” as a parent.
And as a child of the 80s, EVERY SINGLE TIME I have to try not to answer “chicken butt”…
Father Instructs
He sat down very seriously in front of his son, which the son realized meant one of those boring lectures was imminent.
Father produced a brandy snifter, into which he dropped an earthworm. He then took up a bottle of tequila and filled the glass with it.
The worm quickly dissolved.
“Now, , what do we learn from this experiment?”
Son, thoughtfully.
“I guess if you drink tequila you won’t have worms.”
My grandma flaps her legs during her seizures
We all get a kick out of it
Why do crypto nuts distain regular currency
I’ve never thought of Fiat as reliable
Dear Sir, On behalf of Channel Four may I thank you for your application submitted on behalf of your wife for our new reality show
Also the charming photograph you enclosed. Whilst agreeing that she could make a worthy contribution to the program if selected, I would point out that the correct title of the series is actually "Fact Hunt".
Kind regards
Channel Four.
How does a Navy Captain convince his sailors to stop pissing off the back of the boat?
He gives them a stern talking to.
Why did Washington, D.C. get all the lawyers and New Jersey get all the toxic waste dumps?
New Jersey had the first pick.
joke
I treat my woman like I treat my mental health I neglect them untile they become a problem
a woman walks into the doctors office, and receives news that her breast must be removed.
upon looking at the options for prosthetics, she decides to go for the wooden implants. the woman, childbearing, is concerned so she asks the doctor;
“doc, will i still be able to breast feed with wooden boobs? would that still work?”
the doc looks up at the woman and replies
“well, why wooden tit?”
I heard the next Fast and Furious movie is going to have these fins on the back of the cars....
...Oops, spoilers.
Are you a republican?
Because I want you to choose what you do to my body.