Things better not to say - random entries
... to Blondes ...What does a blonde do when she covers her ears with both hands? She`s trying to keep a thought.
... Jokes ...I’ve been carrying a gun with me every since an attempted robbery a few years ago
Since then my robberies have been very successful!
All these people having threesomes, twosomes, and even the occasional foursomes
All I ever have are handsomes
How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a union worker?
Ask them to pronounce the word “unionized”
Why do people say that Jesus was a Jew?
Because otherwise he would just be sus
Santa comes to a poor house
it was a very, very poor house nd Santaand santa asks the children
"kids already had dinner?"
"No"
"So no gifts"
​
I know that the joke is very bad
What does a gynecologist and a pizza delivery guy have in common?
They get to smell it but never get to eat it.
My 3 year old daughter asks, "Where does poo come from?"
To make it simple I say "When you eat the food goes into the stomach and your body takes out all the good stuff inside our body and the rest comes out as poo"
She looked stunned and confused and stared at me in silence.
Then she asks "And Tigger?"
“Do you have any last words before I kill you?” snarled the demon.
That was 32 years ago and I’ve still not said a word since, it still shadows me, waiting.