Things better not to say - random entries

But my mother taught me differently.

I met my wife on tinder.
Well, that was awkward.

Which dog breed has no sense of humor?
German Shepherd

What did the police captain say when no one laughed at his disrespectful joke?
Dismissed!

(NSFW) What do perverts use to clean?
Vacum

I fancy myself an entomologist. I have a way with words...
...when it comes to bugs.

Wife asked her husband “Are you nuts?”
The husband replied “Let’s get nuts!”

What did the circus owner tell the misbehaving performers?
Stop clown-ing around.

My favorite Predator movie….
Is anything with Kevin Spacey in it.

Why are Americans pro-life?
Because they want more target practice

Rip boiled water
You will be mist

What do you call a Cow with no legs?
Ground Beef

Tragedy at the Guinness factory
One night, a woman answers the door to see her husband’s best friend, Paddy, standing on the doorstep. “Hello Paddy, where is my husband? He said he was going to the Guinness factory with you.” Paddy shakes his head. “Ah, Mrs McMillen, there was a terrible accident at the factory, your husband fell into a vat of Guinness and drowned.” Mrs McMillen starts crying. “Oh don’t tell me that, did he at least go quickly?” Paddy shakes his head. “Not really – he got out three times to go to the toilet.”