Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...They should end soccer games with an art competition.
That way it would be win, lose or draw.
What did Chad Kroeger say when he read a paper?
"Look at this paragraph..."
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
Pill commercials nowadays be like
“After just one use, derpatine fixed my knee pain and I can run again!”
“Consult a doctor if you’re experiencing any headaches, nausea, muscle pain, blurry vision, nasal congestion, loss of sight, kidney failure, hernia, heart attacks, strokes or knee pain after using derpatine”
Why don’t Russian sailors take showers at sea?
They prefer to wash up on shore
What did Kenny Rogers say when his tire came off?
“You picked a fine time to leave me loose wheel”
If you cross a lollipop with a slide whistle, you get a Melodie Pop.
Do it quickly and you get a Toot Sweet.
What do you call Leonardo DiCaprio and his fiance on their wedding day?
Bride and Groomer
Apparently Mike Tyson has a tiger that he regularly plays with
That’s really irresponsible. He shouldn’t be messing with wild beasts of nature like that. I know he thinks he’s nice and won’t bite, but Mike Tyson has shown signs of aggression before
Today on a drive, I decided to visit my childhood home.
I asked the people living there if I could come inside as I was feeling nostalgic. They refused and slammed the door in my face.
My parents are the worst.
I once tried to create a comedy routine based on the myth of Orpheus.
Looking back, it was a bad idea.