Hush

Things better not to say - random entries

... Jokes ...

Did you hear Timon and Pumbaa caught Simba sucking himself off?
He had to swallow his pride on that one.

... Jokes ...

My teachers told me I’d never amount to much since I procrastinate so much.
I told them, “Just you wait!”

... Jokes ...

What do you call a kid with ADHD who needs glasses?
AD420p

... Jokes ...

“I’m the alpha werewolf!”
“That’s not how wolves work Jon, you’re just a dick.”

... Jokes ...

My girlfriend did a lie detector test.
"According to the results," said the conductor, "your girlfriend has been unfaithful." I paused for a moment, then said, "Just how reliable are these results?" "Extremely," he replied. "She gave me a blowjob in the car park earlier."

... Jokes ...

How do you derail a Norfolk Southern Train?
Put it on the tracks.

... Jokes ...

I am a proud PHD
Porn Hub Dweller

... Jokes ...

Told my wife about the ringing in my ears.
She said it’s tinnitus. I told her I’ve heard that before.

... Jokes ...

I bought immortality.
The limited edition...

... Jokes ...

How do you get a gay guy to fuck a woman?
Shit in her pussy

... Jokes ...

What do you call a retired cowboy?
Deranged.

... Jokes ...

How does a women control her liqour?
She holds him by the ears

... Jokes ...

Where do you take someone with a “peek-a-boo” injury?
To the ICU