Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...Bodybuilders agree on most methods of building muscle...
but they can never agree on which is the best whey.
What do you call children who grew up with COVID 19?
The disinfected youth
... at Facebook ...I don`t have cobwebs in the apartment. These are eco dream catchers!
I know how to manage my time.
Like right now I know I can do nothing all day and not worry about it cause I got fired!
I lost my ID last night. It was a nightmare!
So I woke up and went to school.
There was a guy so, so short...
...that his feet dangled when he sat on the curb.
Bells
A homeless man with no arms walked into the small quaint village. He stopped at the local church because he heard they had a job available.
The priest told him they were looking for a person to ring the bells, but from the homeless man’s lack of arms he would not be considered.
The man insisted he could do the job if only the priest could take him up into the bell tower. The priest felt he had to appease the man and took him up to the bell tower.
See said the priest. You need arms and hands to pull the ropes and ring the bells. The man simply said watch me.
The man snuggled up to the big bell, leaned back, then lurched forward smashing his face into the bell. It gave a very melodic peel.
He then ran to the next bell and repeated his same process. The bell sounded heavenly.
He ran to the third bell in the tower and same thing happened. A beautiful ring.
He then got into rhythm and had the bells chiming Ava Marie. The priest was overwhelmed. How could he use his face and make such wonderful bell music.
As the man was walking back to the priest, he tripped over a loose rope and fell from the bell tower to his death.
The priest hurried to the ground to find the man with no arms dead. People began to gather around and one asked the priest who is the man?
The priest said, I don’t know his name; but his face sure rang a bell.
A blind dude walks into a bar...
into a waitress... into a table... into a chair...
Frida Kahlo walks into a bar
She says to the bartender: My eyes are down here
Why german people pronounce thanks as danke
Because they are dank and like tank