Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...Did you hear about the guy who got addicted to eating thanksgiving leftovers out of the fridge?
He had to quit cold turkey.
Why did Trump take documents about classified nuclear programs to Mar-a-Lago?
He was just Putin them somewhere safe.
I was cornered by Dwayne Johnson in front of a Hallmark store.
I was caught between The Rock and a card place.
I received an invitation to a wedding from an acquaintance.
I replied that I could not go this time but would go next time.
What did the alien paramedic say when he first arrived on Earth?
"Take me to your bleeder."
While driving down the road, two robbers jumped into my car and stole everything.
They were pirates of the car I be in.
Hey gurrl can I see them knockers?
“Those knocker’s are mine!”
“I’ll give you fifty bux”, “hey wait that’s a dick!?”
“I said those knockers were mine”
Childbirth
Two virgin high schoolers, who are dating.
The woman asks the man, "Is childbirth painful?".
My friends asked me what’s my favorite fictional character
I said ‘my girlfriend’.
Why do people in wheelchair not know how to go by a recipe when cooking food?
Because in recipes, you have to follow it step by step.