Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...Our soccer team is so bad that our opponents hit the bar three times in the first half of today’s match.
They could have at least waited till the end to celebrate.
Never go camping with a German
Especially if they assure you that the campsite has great showers
Did you know about the deaf shepherd who gathered his flock and herd?
What about the blind carpenter who picked up his hammer and saw?
I relabeled all the jars in my wife’s spice rack and I’m not in trouble yet but...
...the thyme is cumin!
After almost choking on my meds this morning, I truly came to terms with death...
It was a tough pill to swallow.
What is the difference between an argument with your wife and a knife?
A knife has a point
Why didn't the cancer get a raise at his new job?
It was a sideways movement
the ring
My girlfriend got really excited last night when I went down on one knee and handed her the Ring. We take vintage horror movie night very seriously.
Two software developers
So, there were two friends who had worked together as software developers for a long time. One day, one of them died of a heart attack. The night after the funeral, the remaining guy had a dream in which his dead friend told him that he had two pieces of news - one good and one bad. The good news was that he was in heaven, where software developers were treated very well. They had a great workplace where the job was never boring, the tools were state-of-the-art, the bugs were easy to spot and fix, and the company took really great care of its employees.
"So, what is the bad news?" asked the other.
"Starting from the next sprint, we are assigned to the same project"