Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...A farmer and Sean Banan
Sean Banan: How many rooms does your farm have?
Farmer: Five room...
Sean Banan: paaaaaaaa!
What do vegetarians say when they meet someone new?
Nice to vegetable you
... at a Date ...Which Marvel hero would be the best nemesis of The Riddler?
The Pun-isher.
Why is it that when I eat people, I get arrested...
But when the Donners eat people, they get a Pass!
Why did Star Wars Episodes 4, 5 & 6 come out before 1,2 & 3?
Because in charge of directing, Yoda was.
I went to my first ITAA meeting last week - Internet & Technology Addicts Anonymous
Ironically, they meet on zoom
A toothbrush salesman had a booth on a street corner.
One day he was approached by a man looking for a job. The salesman, skeptical of this random person’s sales ability, agreed that if the man could sell 100 toothbrushes in a day, that he could have the job.
At the end of the day the man approached him saying “I’ve sold all 100 toothbrush, can I have the job?”
Both shocked and impressed, the salesman agreed to give him a job and told him to meet him at the same street corner the next day. The man showed up the next day and sold 150 toothbrushes this time. Day after day the two men met and day after day the man sold hundreds of toothbrushes; quickly becoming the business’s top salesman.
The original salesman grew increasingly curious on how the man was able to sell so many damn toothbrushes. So one day instead of manning his booth he followed the man after he picked up his daily stock of toothbrushes. After following him across the city, they finally came to a different street corner where the man set up a booth with a large cake on the table and a sign that said “Free Slices of Cake.”
After a few minutes a person walking down the street began to pass the booth, the man asked “hey would you like a slice of cake?”
The walker replied “Free? Absolutely!” he accepted his slice and took a large bite and immediately spat it on the ground. “What the hell this? It tastes like SHIT!”
“It is shit, want to buy a toothbrush?”
Yesterday I punched a homeless person in the mouth in the New York subway.
I do my part to fight poverty, do you?
Desert Island
Three guys and a girl are stranded on a desert island. After two weeks on the island, the girl is so ashamed of what she is doing she kills herself.
Two weeks after that, the guys are ashamed of what they are doing they bury her.
Two weeks after that, the guys are so ashamed of what they are doing they dig her up.