Things better not to say - random entries
... at a Date ...The bartender said that this drink makes me irresistible. Now I wanted to ask you if it works already?
... Jokes ...The popcorn brand “Pop Secret” is a play on the classification “Top Secret”
Maybe someone got confused and thought their home safe was a microwave?
Been in there for 19 months, should’ve heard a couple pops by now right?
... during Sex ..."Do you know about sex?" "Clear. Peel off the foil, dip the spoon in and enjoy.. no, wait, that was Nutella.
What is a 4-letter word ending in U-N-T that a woman can usually be called?
Aunt
A man walks into the doctor because he has a lump growing out of his forehead
The doctor says I’ve got some bad news for you. The man says, “please tell me it’s not cancer!”. The doctor says, “No it’s not cancer, you have a penis growing out of your forehead. The man says, “Oh I’m glad it’s not cancer. So now I’m going to have to wake up everyday and see a penis on my forehead?”. The doctor says,
>!”Nah the balls will be covering your eyes”!<
Jokes about anal are hard to understand.
But you usually get it in the end.
Why was the skinny scientist so excited?
>!He just won the no belly prize!<
I told my boss
That I wasn’t coming into the office today because I’ve got a bad flare up of occupational rectal cataracts.
She asked “What the hell is that? Does it hurt?”
I said “Not really, I just can’t see my ass coming in tomorrow!”
So The Mandalorian, Lizzo and Jack Black walk into a bar…
This is not the setup for a joke, this is an actual plot point in the latest episode of The Mandalorian.
The real joke is whatever the hell the 3rd season of this show has been.
Why don’t war vets play hide and seek with their grandchildren?
They’re in the trees