Things better not to say - random entries
... Jokes ...My friend is a smoker and decided to read about the health risks of smoking.
He went online and read about how smoking can lead to cancer, and other health risks.
A few days later I meet up with him and find him overjoyed and full of energy, so I asked him what did he do to become so healthy.
He tells me while lighting a cigar: "I quit reading."
Why should oceanographers be the Ones that report the news?
They’re always on top of current events!
I know the pilot for my flight to Charlotte had to be a woman
There’s just no way a man could find the CLT
Honga bonga longa
2 explores were in the forest and suddenly a bunch of primitive men from a tribe with greasy hair , smelly as fuck and no clothes except for underwear stopped them from going any further
“Honga bonga longa or dead ? “
The leader asked the first guy
The first guy replied ,
“ I don’t know wtf is Honga bonga longa but I would choose that rather than getting killed “
The leader then said to the other guys ,
“Honga bonga longa him”
So everyone obeyed the order and they fucked him by turn
3 hours later they are done with the first guy he was thankful that he’s still alive
It’s now the other guy’s turn
The leader asked ,
“Honga bonga longa or dead “
The second guy without any hesitation
“ of course no I would rather be dead than getting fucked like that , no Honga bonga longa for me “
The leader than said to the other dudes
“ HONGAAA BONGAAA LOOOONGA TILL DEAD”
Did you hear that Selena Kyle put on 150 pounds?
She went from Catwoman to Kit-Kat woman.
What did Pikachu say to the Squirtle wearing a Batman costume?
Pikachu
Wickedness is a myth invented by good people
to account for the curious attraction of others.
why did you see somebody cut a tree with a chain?
because they saw a chain
Two tampons pass each other in the hallway
But neither says hello, because they’re both stuck up cunts.
Did you hear the one about the Irish gay couple?
Patrick Fitzhugh and Hugh Fitzpatrick.