The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.
New at better-not-say-it.com: Our hot joke section. Have fun laughing with our sensationally funny jokes:
A priest, a witch doctor and Satan walk into a bar
The bartender says, “what’s this? Some kind of joke?”
“Oh my God, that spider’s as big as my thumb!”
Today was a bad day to know Big Thumb Thurmond
Vladimir Putin visits a school...
He asks a boy: "Who is your true mother?". "Mother Russia of course!", says the boy. Putin then asks a girl: "who is your true father?". "You, great president!", replies the girl. Putin then asks the quiet kid sitting at the back: "You there, what do you want to be when you grow up?". The quiet kid thinks for a moment and says: "An orphan!".
Nursing home
Two old ladies were sitting on the porch of their nursing home rocking in their rocking chairs smoking cigarettes. As it starts to rain old lady 1 reaches in her purse and gets a condom package out, she slides it Over her cigarette to keep it dry so she can smoke it later. Amazed and curious, old lady 2 asks what that is, old lady 1 replies “ it’s a condom and you can get it at any local drug store” old lady 2 goes to the pharmacy the next day and walks to the counter, asks the cute young man behind the counter for a package of condoms, confused with her request, he politely asked what kind and size, old lady 1 then says “ oh it doesn’t matter, as long as it fits on a camel”
Gender is like my parents.
There used to be two of them, and now it is a sensitive subject.
An old man walks into a library
He walks up to the librarian and says “Get me a scotch.” The librarian says, “Sir this is a library, not a bar.” “Oh I’m sorry.” the old man replies, and he leans in to whisper *Get me a scotch*
All world leaders should be women!
Instead of going to war, they would just stop talking to each other.
Sweet Mary had just gotten to High School.
Sweet Mary comes home from her first day in high school and her mom asked her what did you do today? Mary says not much but the boys all got together and gave me a quarter to climb the flagpole. Her mom said you shouldn’t do that those boys just wanted to see your panties Well said Mary they wasted their quarter because I’m not wearing any.