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Story time
Once upon a time I had a baby child and I named it butter Coming back from the hospital a few days after the baby’s birth I realised I picked up the wrong child I can’t believe it’s not butter
KGB is sending a spy to the USA
The general gives the last instructions: "Lieutenant Pavlov, we are sending you to the US as an undercover agent with the exact plan. We are giving you 100 million dollars. Go to New York, buy an apartment on Park Avenue, enter American high society, befriend politicians, and start feeding us secret information." The general picks up the phone to call the Central Bank: "Comrad Ivanova, this is general Volkov from KGB. Comrade Pavlov will stop by to pick up a check for a hundred million dollars." On the other end of the line: "Are you fucking crazy in KGB? The country has no money for food, medication, child..." The general hangs up the phone. "Comrade Pavlov, the directives have been changed. You are a pauper."
Been thinking about taking a job as a mirror installer....
I could see myself doing that work.
What might you catch an ABBA-obsessed assassin doing?
Halving the time of your life.
Did you know Liberace was a bird lover?
Although he never hugged a parrot, he kissed a cockatoo!
A Australian, American, and a Russian walk into a bar.
An Australian, American, and a Russian walk into a bar. The Australian buys himself a drink, the American also buys himself a drink, but the Russian buys everyone a drink.
What do libertarians and house cats have in common?
They both act like they are independent and self sufficient but in reality are utterly dependent on a system they can neither appreciate nor understand.