The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

A man went into a library

**A man went into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide.** **The librarian said: “Fuck off, you won’t bring it back.”**

What do you call two Christmas crackers having sex?

Bang Bang

It is sometimes an appropriate response to reality

to go insane.

Those hot pants of hers were so damned tight,

I could hardly breathe.

What’s the difference between a well dressed man on a bike and a poorly dressed man on a unicycle?

A tire

After all this time, I still haven’t tested positive for Covid…

…wouldn’t it be funny if it was just because I wasn’t sticking the swab far enough into my ear?

What do you call a well-balanced horse?

Stable.

Have you guys scene the new john Wilkes booth movie?

I’ve heard it’s mind blowing.

Yo Mama so fat that when she slid into my DMs….

My phone ran out of space.

What’s the best thing about Switzerland ?

I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.

I slept with a girl with a nut allergy

I came & she died.

Never take viagara and a laxative at the same time.

You won’t know if you’re coming or going.

You should always wash your sex toys

That’s why priests baptize kids.