Things better not said - our best
... Jokes ...Toast
I asked my girlfriend if she could make me some toast for breakfast
She said she did not know the recipe
A man goes to a psychiatrist with a banana sticking half way out of his ear
Obviously, the first thing the psychiatrist asks is, “What’s with the banana in your ear?”
“Well,” the man replies, “I am petrified of rhinoceros and I believe that this keeps them away.”
“But sir,” the psychiatrist replies, “there’s not a rhinoceros for around for thousands of miles!”
“Exactly!” The man replies, gesturing at the banana.
What would Chris Brown say if he went transgender
If you cant beat em, Join em.
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
She looked surprised.
My best friend used to be a suicide bomber.
It was only a temporary role.
Honga bonga longa
2 explores were in the forest and suddenly a bunch of primitive men from a tribe with greasy hair , smelly as fuck and no clothes except for underwear stopped them from going any further
“Honga bonga longa or dead ? “
The leader asked the first guy
The first guy replied ,
“ I don’t know wtf is Honga bonga longa but I would choose that rather than getting killed “
The leader then said to the other guys ,
“Honga bonga longa him”
So everyone obeyed the order and they fucked him by turn
3 hours later they are done with the first guy he was thankful that he’s still alive
It’s now the other guy’s turn
The leader asked ,
“Honga bonga longa or dead “
The second guy without any hesitation
“ of course no I would rather be dead than getting fucked like that , no Honga bonga longa for me “
The leader than said to the other dudes
“ HONGAAA BONGAAA LOOOONGA TILL DEAD”
Finish the Job
The military created a new self-driving Sherman tank.
During a field test, the instructor told the tank to blow up a bunker. The tank fired one shot from its cannon and took out half the bunker.
The instructor said excellent and instructed the tank to finish the job.
Suddenly, the tank activated its flamethrower and started driving towards Georgia.
Why didn’t Beethoven clap upon the ratification of new legislature ensuring protection for deaf individuals?
You don’t applaud at the end of a movement.
A friend walks up to you
"Bro, if I banged your mom, would we be enemie? " You says no, so he asks, "would we be friends then? " he says excitedly. Again, you say no.
Confused, he asks " then what? "
"Even"
Where do South American countries keep their armies?
Just near their Andes.