Things better not said - our best

What do you call a man with no shins?
ToeKnee

Need your advice
Grew up with very large ears and have always been conscious of them. Couldn’t afford to get Otoplasty so I signed up for an experimental procedure that involved growing a new pair of ears on my body which would replace the old ones with a much more affordable surgical “cut and stitch” procedure. I signed up, waived all claims, and received a vial with instructions on how to administer the drugs. The lead doctor made sure to warn me not to overdose on the drug. I tried speeding things up and decided to use 10 times the dose I was supposed to yesterday night. I woke up in a horror this morning, with ears covering every part of my body. I know this is the joke reddit and I shouldn’t be asking for advice here but I’d love advice/help/remedies from anyone who knows how I can fix this. I’m all ears.

People that did not get the vax act like they are superior because their blood is "purer". This is false.
They are superior because their brains are bigger.

I got kicked out of a restaurant for having improper dress. Reminds me of a funny story.
An Afghan, an Albanian, and Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguan, an Argintine, an Armenian, and Austrailian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Chilean, a Chinese, a Colombian, a Comoran, a Congolese, a Costa Rican, a Croatian, a Cuban, a Cypriot, a Czech, a Dane, a Djibouti, a Dominican, a Dutchman, an East Timorese, an Ecuadorean, an Egyptian, an Emirian, an Equatorial Guinean, an Eritrean, an Estonian, an Ethiopian, a Fijian, a Filipino, a Finn, a Frenchman, a Gabonese, a Gambian, a Georgian, a German, a Ghanaian, a Greek, a Grenadian, a Guatemalan, a Guinea-Bissauan, a Guinean, a Guyanese, a Haitian, a Herzegovinian, a Honduran, a Hungarian, an I-Kiribati, an Icelander, an Indian, an Indonesian, an Iranian, an Iraqi, an Irishman, an Israeli, an Italian, an Ivorian, a Jamaican, a Japanese, a Jordanian, a Kazakhstani, a Kenyan, a Kittian and Nevisian, a Kuwaiti, a Kyrgyz, a Laotian, a Latvian, a Lebanese, a Liberian, a Libyan, a Liechtensteiner, a Lithuanian, a Luxembourger, a Macedonian, a Malagasy, a Malawian, a Malaysian, a Maldivan, a Malian, a Maltese, a Marshallese, a Mauritanian, a Mauritian, a Mexican, a Micronesian, a Moldovan, a Monacan, a Mongolian, a Moroccan, a Mosotho, a Motswana, a Mozambican, a Namibian, a Nauruan, a Nepalese, a New Zealander, a Nicaraguan, a Nigerian, a Nigerien, a North Korean, a Northern Irishman, a Norwegian, an Omani, a Pakistani, a Palauan, a Palestinian, a Panamanian, a Papua New Guinean, a Paraguayan, a Peruvian, a Pole, a Portuguese, a Qatari, a Romanian, a Russian, a Rwandan, a Saint Lucian, a Salvadoran, a Samoan, a San Marinese, a Sao Tomean, a Saudi, a Scottish, a Senegalese, a Serbian, a Seychellois, a Sierra Leonean, a Singaporean, a Slovakian, a Slovenian, a Solomon Islander, a Somali, a South African, a South Korean, a Spaniard, a Sri Lankan, a Sudanese, a Surinamer, a Swazi, a Swede, a Swiss, a Syrian, a Taiwanese, a Tajik, a Tanzanian, a Togolese, a Tongan, a Trinidadian or Tobagonian, a Tunisian, a Turkish, a Tuvaluan, a Ugandan, a Ukrainian, a Uruguayan, a Uzbekistani, a Venezuelan, a Vietnamese, a Welshman, a Yemenite, a Zambian and a Zimbabwean all go to a nightclub... The doorman stops them and says “Sorry I can’t let you in without a Thai.”

What do you call an aardvark who can cast spells?
A Wizaarddvark

Anyone here about the guy who dipped his balls in glitter?
Pretty nuts.

What did Master Yoda attribute to keeping his sanity during all those years of solitude?
He said whatever you can do to pass the time anything to make the day-go-ba

Whats a masochists favourite chatbot?
ChatCBT

My son saw me making bread, and asked for some. So I said:
But its sour though!

Now that I’m married I’m having sex almost every night of the week
We almost did it on Monday, then we almost did it again on Tuesday and on Wednesday really almost did it.

Why do England hate being next to Ireland?
Because there Offaly Louth

A guy walked into a bar
He says “ow”

A girl tells a guy she is cosplaying as a heroine from a show. He has a very lame pickup line:
The guy: "I love heroin! Can I shoot you up?"