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Did you hear about the bottom who was hit by a train?

He died doing what he loved; getting railed

A teacher to her students,

"Lets talk about associate, or association. It means things that go together. You can associate plants with soil, and birds with trees. Now, can anyone tell me what we can associate with fish? Yes, Tommy?" Tommy: "Chips!" ​ Source: Adapated from a joke in a 1913 newspaper

A man annoyed from his long nails

"This is getting out of hand" he said while going to clip them.

What do you call an Indian country singer?

Kenny Chutney

What did the gnat say when it hadn’t eaten in a while?

“I’m so hungry I could eat a horsefly.”

How do you test if your trans roommate is really a woman?

Leave the toilet seat up. (We had the talk after she had no reaction.)

I was confused when my printer started making music

Until i realized the paper was... jamming.

My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair.

Guess who came crawling back?

What do you call it when Captain Kirk goes number 2 on a Star Trek fan?

William Shit-nerd

Women belongs to kitchen.

Men also belongs to kitchen. Everyone belongs to kitchen including 34 genders.

A horse walks into a bar

And he asks the bartender, "Got any hay?" To which the bartender replies, "No, get the fuck out of my bar!"

what do Germans call an overweight person?

Gross

Why do dogs hate the smell of criminals?

Because they play dirty.

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