Hush

The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

New at better-not-say-it.com: Our hot joke section. Have fun laughing with our sensationally funny jokes:


How do you distinguish Kanye from a deepfake attempting to hurt his reputation?

The more reasonable one is the deepfake.

Why did Princess Diana cross the road?

Because she wasn’t wearing a seatbelt.

I love the way the earth rotates

It really makes my day

The president of my home owners association and my blind neighbor don’t see eye to eye often…

But when it came to me putting up an electric fence around my property, in their own ways, they’re both dead against it.

50% of marriages end in divorce

100% of marriages end with you getting fucked in some capacity.

what is the difference between java and kotlin Android developers?

Java developers have no fun

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

Blind.

What did the Swedish Chef tell me in the laundromat?

Hurdy-gurdy, let’s get dirty!

{OC] What do you call lady semen?

Shemen

One good tern deserves another

Arctic terns, birds long famous for their thousands of miles migratory habits, have been profoundly affected by climate change. Researchers have determined that as landmarks have disappeared due to loss of ice, some terns get stressed to the point of prematurely ending their flights. Exposure to cannabinoids reduces stress levels in the stopped birds, allowing them to continue their journey. A team formed to find the colonies of stragglers and drop literal marijuana smoke bombs on the birds. The head of the expedition acknowledged that it was a huge undertaking, but vowed to leave no tern unstoned.

A joke I do remember:

Man walks in a bar with a duck on his head and orders a beer. Bartender says that’s 5 bucks. Dude said, put it on the bill

what do you call a sexy bitch?

hot dog

My coworkers at my place of work have given me a nickname “Mr. Compromise”.

It wasn’t my first choice, but I guess I’m ok with it.

more on the subject Jokes