The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.
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Why do basketball players struggle to get women pregnant?
Because they dribble so much before they shoot.
Smartest president ever
A plane with 4 people on board suffers an engine failure. There are only three parachutes. The pilot stands up and says: „I’m Brad Pitt, my kids needs me, my fans needs me, I have to survive.“ he takes one of the parachutes and jumps out of the plane. The first passenger stands up and says: „I’m Donald Trump, I was the smartest president the US ever had and I’ll become the next president. My country needs me.“ He takes the second parachute and jumps out of the plane too. The two remaining passengers are a young boy and an old man. The old man turns to the boy and says: „I’ve lived my life, it was a good one. Take the last parachute and get out of here.“ The boy starts smiling and says: „Don’t worry, we both will survive. The smartest president ever just jumps out with my school bag.“
Did you hear about the celebrity who got stabbed her name is Reece something
Witherspoon? No with a knife
A cruel and spiteful restauranteur whose restaurants only served Pepsi products, died suddenly, and was shocked to find himself in heaven
As he approached the pearly gates, St Peter cheerily asked, “Would hell be OK instead?”
A leaf and an emo fall from a tree, who hits the ground first?
The leaf. The rope stopped the emo.
A middle school class went on a field trip to the construction site.
Suddenly, a worker falls to his death from the roof of an unfinished building. Because of this, the school decided to hold an accident prevention class. The teacher asks: "Children, how do you think, why did that man fall?" "He was standing too close to the edge of the roof!" - said Lily. "He was drunk!" - said Billy. "Both of you are wrong," said Johnny, "he fell because he was badmouthing my mother! I heard him yell, "Hey, you son of a bitch! Stop shaking the ladder!""