The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

What’s the difference between pussy and parsley?

You don’t eat parsley.

An Arab is driving

An Arab is driving and he’s going 120+ miles an hour his passengers try to get him to slow down. But the Arab so sure in his driving ability turns to his passengers and says don’t worry I’m Arab if we crash the car will definitely explode.

Why do men find it so difficult to solve puzzles after taking Viagra?

Because they just keep getting harder and harder.

My wife pointed next to her on the bed and said, “come here”.

But it was actually toothpaste.

Did you hear about the dyslexic man who was caught in the ladies room?

He said he just had to shake a tit

What do you call a cow with three legs?

What do you call a cow with **three** legs? Lean beef. What do you call a cow with **no** legs? Ground beef. What do you call a cow with **two** legs? Your mom.

What do you call a psychic T-shirt?

A medium.

What do Desantis, Jagger, and Trump have in common with a Big Mac?

Ronald Mick Donald

What did the Mexican Yellowcard cover band call themselves?

Greencard

What do you say to a french man to cheer hm up ?

Beaucoup, to him, it means a lot.

Horatio, the victim was found with his peins in a jar of peanut butter...

Hmmmm, looks like he was fucking nuts

If Asian cultures practiced circumcision, what would they call it?

Chopsdicks.

What do you call a gun that shoots salt.

A-salt rifle.