The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

Why has Russia failed to take Ukraine?

Because it is a Donbas war.

I was doing a calculation on my calculator and accidentally divided instead of multiplying.

Operator error

Why are shooting stars so fast? (x-post from /dadjokes)

They’re traveling light.

Your mom is so old

She has a separate entrance for black guys

The judge was a man of few words

Always gave out short sentences

I’ve had three orgasms today.

The next one is forthcoming.

Why should you never date a tennis player?

Because love means nothing to them

Why are bowling balls sticky?

Because that egg done hatched, mister.

So I was on a date with this girl named Amber

I was on a date with this girl named Amber. She went to the bathroom and never came back...So I called the police and said...I would like to file an amber alert. Please be on the lookout for my date amber. They then told me that they do not do that here.

What happens when the Queen of Hearts has oral sex with the King?

He gets off with her head!

EA SPORTS.. Its in the game!

You read that in the voice, didn’t you?

What’s the difference between real sex and p*rn?

In porn, you pay the *plumber, pizza guy, pool guy, mechanic, and the milk man* with sex. In the real world, *you pay the plumber, pizza guy, pool guy, and mechanic* all with money. ​ # milk men don’t exist anymore.

I just called a bouncy house place for my kids birthday party...

We got one larger than last year but the guy quoted us 50% higher cost. I asked him whats up with the price. He said, blame inflation.