The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.
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I was wondering, why does a frisbee appear larger the closer it gets…
then it hit me.
How do you get down from an elephant?
You don’t. You get down from a duck. This may be the oldest joke I know, but it is so perfect in its simplicity.
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed.
She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday
My grandfather always used to say “as one door closes another one opens”
Great guy. Terrible carpenter.
The hell?
Here’s a joke. Lefty thinks he burns me but then deletes his account so he can’t hear truth. What’s the joke? Leftists exist.
My 3 year old daughter asks, "Where does poo come from?"
To make it simple I say "When you eat the food goes into the stomach and your body takes out all the good stuff inside our body and the rest comes out as poo" She looked stunned and confused and stared at me in silence. Then she asks "And Tigger?"
What do you call the corner of a triangle who correctly claims the other two corners are 45 degrees?
A right angle
No Food at The Drive-Thru
"How can I take your order?" "I would like to order a burger please?" "No burgers." "O.K. fries than." "No fries." "How about an apple turnover?" "No apple turnovers." "A salad?" "Let me check...Nope." "So what do you have than?" "A really big appetite."