The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.
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A husband is sitting on the couch…
Watching TV and his wife calls from the kitchen “Darling would you like chicken or beef?” The husband answers “Beef!” The wife replies “I was talking to the cat, you’re having soup asshole!”
A friend walks up to you
"Bro, if I banged your mom, would we be enemie? " You says no, so he asks, "would we be friends then? " he says excitedly. Again, you say no. Confused, he asks " then what? " "Even"
Why didn’t Beethoven clap upon the ratification of new legislature ensuring protection for deaf individuals?
You don’t applaud at the end of a movement.
Finish the Job
The military created a new self-driving Sherman tank. During a field test, the instructor told the tank to blow up a bunker. The tank fired one shot from its cannon and took out half the bunker. The instructor said excellent and instructed the tank to finish the job. Suddenly, the tank activated its flamethrower and started driving towards Georgia.
Honga bonga longa
2 explores were in the forest and suddenly a bunch of primitive men from a tribe with greasy hair , smelly as fuck and no clothes except for underwear stopped them from going any further “Honga bonga longa or dead ? “ The leader asked the first guy The first guy replied , “ I don’t know wtf is Honga bonga longa but I would choose that rather than getting killed “ The leader then said to the other guys , “Honga bonga longa him” So everyone obeyed the order and they fucked him by turn 3 hours later they are done with the first guy he was thankful that he’s still alive It’s now the other guy’s turn The leader asked , “Honga bonga longa or dead “ The second guy without any hesitation “ of course no I would rather be dead than getting fucked like that , no Honga bonga longa for me “ The leader than said to the other dudes “ HONGAAA BONGAAA LOOOONGA TILL DEAD”