The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

Who has an IQ of 150, but has to go to school nevertheless?

Three gym teacher.

My wife ran a red light while driving next to me

I can’t believe even my wife is leaving me on read now

ME: one time I farted so long & loud I thought my ass would stop and take a breath...

INTERVIEWER: ...and what would you consider a weakness about yourself?

A Giraffe Walks into a bar

He shouts, "High balls on me!"

A man goes to the doctor and says “dokter, poo every morning at 7:00

Doctor says: “sounds normal, what’s the problem? Man: “I wake up at 8:00”

Never trust an atheist...

Who says "I swear to God"

Why do Southerners make great handy-workers?

Cause they’re always fixin’ something.

My grandfather has the heart of a lion...

And a lifetime ban at the zoo

What is the dwarfs favorite type of cake?

Shortcake.

Did you hear what happened to the dyslexic pimp??

He bought a warehouse.

I was cold called in chemistry and asked about Heisenberg

I told the professor I was uncertain, and he just said “yes”

Why is the USS Enterprise like toilet paper?

It circles Uranus and wipes out any Klingons.

How do you get down from elephants?

You don’t. You get down from birds.