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The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

New at better-not-say-it.com: Our hot joke section. Have fun laughing with our sensationally funny jokes:


Don’t ever tug on a man’s hairpiece..

There will be hell toupee!

What do you call someone who eats cripples?

A vegetarian

How does Indian Prime Minister Modi cum?

Modicum - in tiny quantities.

I travelled to Russia as a journalist to observe life in remote Siberia.

I had heard that people aged rapidly in the region due to harsh working conditions, poor diets and exposure to the elements. Attending an outdoor ceremony, I looked around and saw withered and hunched townsfolk in dirty, drab clothing. Their gaits were slow and shuffling like awkward zombies as they gathered and took their seats. Several women were tending to their infants and toddlers, sporadic murmurs and coughs punctuated the thick, stale air as a disheveled man stepped up to the microphone on stage. "Welcome everyone, to the graduation ceremony of Tomsk High School.."

I’m no longer my dads son

I’m his daughter

Why are French streets nocturnal?

Because they rue the day!

The patron saint of those annoying group email threads...

​ ​ St. Francis of Assisi. ​ ​ ​ p.s. Go forth and cc no more.

You hear about the guy that dipped his balls in glitter?

...pretty nuts

I needed to pick up paper, pens, and envelopes from the store, but I had no gas in my car so...

...I rode my stationery bike.

Daffynitions

Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavoured mouthwash. Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you. Frisbeetarinisim (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there. Pokemon (n.), A Jamaican proctologist.

What’s the difference between snowmen and snow women?

Snowmen have snow balls.

Who called them Furries...

... and not furrverts?

indian joke

Indian kings named so many rivers after female names because they were so thirsty

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