The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

Why did James Corden hang out with Oscar Isaac?

Because he wanted to know what it was like to be close to an Oscar.

What kind of man do high maintenance women avoid ?

Maintenance

I paid a girl 10,000$ to have sex

I guess that’s what they call “fuck you money”

best bit about having a baby

The best thing about having a baby is that you can tell them "you suck" for an entire year and be scientifically accurate

Dave was a cannibal, and a conceited one at that.

So when he was in a bad car accident, the people of his town weren’t very sympathetic. But when they learned that he died, they softened up a bit. “I didn’t know that his injuries were life threatening,” one of his neighbors said. Another replied that they weren’t. “Well then how did he die?” the first wanted to know. The second said, “When the doctors told him he was going to lose both of his legs, he asked if he could eat them. Since they were just going to be thrown out, they agreed. Apparently, after he’d eaten one of them and had almost finished the second, he choked and by the time the nurse got to his room it was too late.” The first neighbor said, “I guess that’s a fitting way to go. He always was full of himself.”

Why depressed people have many relationships?

Cause they hang out a lot

What were the biggest threats to freedom of speech in 2022?

Hotel windows.

a doozy

whats an introverts least favorite class ? social studies.

What do you call a horse mixed with a sheep?

Your new neigh-baaa

If a black bird has black babies and a blue bird has blue babies, what bird has no babies?

A Swallow

I wanted to quit doing cocaine due to health concerns

But then I said to myself: You are stronger than your excuses!

Why do so many Kiwis move to Australia?

To improve the gene pool of both countries

Today, I went for a massage.

The massage parlour are run by blind masseuses. I gave them a five star review for not being time-watchers.