The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

What would Gandalf say if he was a Christian?

You shall not pass! Judgement onto others.

A white supremacy group has been growing in Mexico.

The que que que.

I once met a man who made a lot of money in the shipping industry. His name was Bill...

Bill, of Lading.

What do you call a counseling session with a Christian youth pastor?

Foreplay.

What do you call poultry with great fashion sense?

*Chic*-ken

I used to work in a circus for a few years. I was quite handy.

I was the only person who could get the tent back in the bag.

What did Billy-Sue say when asked by a social worker what her husband Billy-Bob did for a living?

Beats me.

Why should we all agree to eat our sandwiches at 1pm?

It’ll be a pact lunch.

Would you like to fuck?

Him: Would you like to fuck tomorrow? Her: WHAT? Him: Sorry, stupid autocorrect. Made me look like a pervert. Her: Oh okay, what did you mean? Him: Would you like to fuck today?* PS: Got this from somewhere.

What an angel does in a bathroom?

Holy shit.

What did the little boy say to his mom when a bunch of people fell through the ice on the frozen pond?

Icy dead people

Why do pine trees always get coal for Christmas?

Because they are so knotty. That is seasonally late dad joke.

I brought my wife coffee in bed this morning. She got excited, hot and wet.

Yeah, I spilled it on her..