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Did you know that Mrs Doubtfire served time in prison for…

Male fraud.

How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb?

The court is still out on that one

Does music make you think?

It made Stevie wonder…

What do you call a rhyming green onion that’s up to no good?

A rapscallion

What are Michael Jackson’s preferred pronouns?

He-he!

I’ve lost seven pounds this week…

or, as my girlfriend calls it, ‘the baby’.

What did Apu (from The Simpsons) say after sex?

Thank you, cum again

Promised my wife a flashy car and she was so excited.

You should have seen her face light up when she saw I’d strapped a strobe light to her Toyota.

I’m the scientist who just discovered that goose-down pillows are NOT resistant to sulphuric acid.

Although, apparently that’s not what my wife meant when she said we need to “experiment in the bedroom”

Construction workers are so stupid

These guys spend a good portion of the day yelling at each other “Dangit, where’s that square?!” Then they hand each other triangles.

What is in common between Black humor and a child with cancer ...

no one gets old....

Man: “I’m so jealous of your heart right now” Woman: “why?”

Man: “because it’s pounding inside of you and I’m not”.

Spell “iced” out loud for me

What are ya, a wiener doctor?

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