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I went to girlscoutcookies.com
The site asked if I accepted all cookies. I said yes. I browsed and left. The next day 2 tons of cookies were delivered to my home with a bill of 15 million $
Having Turkey dinner this Easter Sunday. I got a 16 pound bird.
The turkey is only a small one though.
Budweiser
Budweiser is singlehandedly responsible for the transgender movement... They have been identifying as beer this whole time
Why is Iron not added as book material
Because it gives terrible irony into any story
Yo mama so dumb, the only test she got an A on was her blood test
...and even then, it was an A minus!
Wife asks her husband: “How many women have you ever slept with?”
Husband responds: “One, two, three, four, you, five, six… six total”
A guys in jail, when a new guy walks in
“What you in here for?” “Phone sex.” “Phone sex? What do you mean? Like with a kid or something?” “No, she’s 30.” “Is it illegal to have phone sex or something?” “ No, it’s legal.” “So why are you in here?” “Well, i would call her at work and spend hours telling her how I’m going to use my mouth to undo her top…” “I still don’t see the problem. How’s it illegal to call her at work and have hours of phone sex?” “When she’s a 911 dispatcher.”
So a snail walks into a dealership
and purchases a car, proceeds to ask the salesman to put eggs on the front, eggs on the roof, and eggs on the trunk. Bewildered the salesman ask, excuse but why would you want to put eggs all over your car. Snail replies, because when I drive down the road very fast I want people to say, “Hey look at that eggs car go”
I asked my friend what he thought about the new show about 9/11
He said that the pilot wasn’t very good
My life peaked when I got to fly a helicopter.
Unfortunately its been a downward spiral ever since.
The question was never whether Trump would be indicted....
But is he competent enough to be tried as an adult?