The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

What did Mike Tyson say to the Mind Flayers who tried to recruit him on their ship?

I won’t be a part of your illithid activities.

Riddle me this

what has 4 letters sometimes has 9 letters can also have 7 letters but never has 5 letters

Don’t know if this has been told

Where do milk shakes come from? California Cows

Why Russia has so much natural gas?

Because daily the 3+ million strong Russian army personnel only ‘deliver’ all hype and no matter.

What do you call a man whos attracted to young computers?

A PDFile

A One Piece porn parody

It will be called Two Piece.

Putin always wanted Finland and Sweden to be part of Russia

Well now they are Russian to get into NATO

The Gayish Joke

You know how gay also means happy? Well lets put it like this: Robert was gay to get a girlfriend.

What does a Robot do after Sex?

He Nuts and Bolts.

I found out my wife was cheating on me

She said I’ll be home 10-15 mins max My name is Logan

Why did the Mexican shoot his wife?

Tequila

So a man with no arms is walking around the store looking for help.

He walks up to a lady and asks her if she will pull his Willy out at a urinal so he can relieve his bladder. She reluctantly agrees and they go into the bathroom. She pulls his Willy out and the room is filled with this grotesque smell and it’s green and disgusting. She then exclaims ,”oh my god what is wrong with that thing!” He then pulls out his arms from inside his sleeves and says,” I don’t know but I ain’t touching it.”

Taking astrology seriously is dangerous for your health

It has a one in twelve chance of giving you Cancer.