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The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

New at better-not-say-it.com: Our hot joke section. Have fun laughing with our sensationally funny jokes:


I hate it when my fellow astronauts eject me into space without a suit.

It makes my blood boil.

How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two 1 to hold the bulb and 1 to turn the ladder

What happened to the old man who was falling asleep on a raft that was not tied to the dock?

He drifted off

The organs of the human body meet up at their weekly support group.

Heart: So tell me, how are all of you doing? Large intestine: Not good. I’m all backed up on work and my productivity is shit. Gallbladder: Same here. My girlfriend told me yesterday that she thinks I’m narcisscystic. Heart: How about you, Brain? Brain: Just terrible. I only get 4 hours of sleep a night, I constantly second-guess myself, and I’ve had 6 panic attacks this week and it’s only Tuesday. Gallbladder (aside to Large Intestine): Who is that guy? I’ve never seen him here before. Large Intestine: Oh, Brain? He’s part of the Nervous system.

Oh I thought of a really funny joke about Buddy Holly , Ritchie Valens , and the big bopper

I decided not to tell it . Because it won’t land good.

my uncle went to prison for the rest of his life for eating a priest that worked at my church

talk about a taste of religion

How long did it take your mother to take a shit?

Nine months

Why do gay men like hemorrhoids?

They are party balloons for the grant entrance. Just a joke guys.

The toothbrush was invented in Kentucky.

If it was invented in any other state, it would have been called a teethbrush.

What does a soldier returning from war, and a boy with a bicycle have in common?

They say "Look ma, No hands!"

What do you call a mix between a Bull Dog and a Shitzu?

Your mom

Bicycle Telepath Technology: What are your thoughts on this?

That sums it up. Thank you for your continued diligence in these matters.

A group of organic molecules

A group of organic molecules were having a party, when a group of robbers broke into the room and robbed all the precious jewels. A tall, strong man, armed with a gun came into the room and thrashed the robbers one by one. The guests were very grateful and asked for his name, to which he replied, "My name is Bond, Covalent Bond"

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