The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

Your heartbeat could be perfectly in sync with someone else

Especially if you’re dead.

A guy walks into a bar...

...and was immediately disqualified from the limbo contest.

So these two fish are sitting in a tank. One fish looks over to the other and says,

“I have no idea how to drive this thing.”

Today I donated my watch, my phone and $500 to a poor guy.

You don’t know the happiness I felt as I saw him put his knife back in his pocket.

I tried to tell a chemistry joke, once.

There was no reaction.

I bought antique furniture that goes back to Louis XIV

Unless I pay back Louis before the 14th

My friend left his bike on a hill

It all went downhill front there

I like my woman how I like my coffee

Without the stop making these jokes oh my god I’m tired having to see them every week it’s not funny anymore how about you come up with something original?

What do you call two Hispanic men playing basketball?

Juan on Juan.

What do you call a barbarian in a reflective vest?

A high-Visigoth.

Here’s a knock knock joke that had my friends in hysterics when I was in college - I made it up

Knock knock. Who’s there? Urinalysis Urinalysis who? (Urinalysis biology class, aren’t you?) (you’re in Alice’s)

After sanctions collapsed the Russian economy, wealthy business magnates were trapped in the ruble.

_ducks and runs_ _sorry not sorry_

Dolly Parton joke

Dolly Parton appeared in a movie. The director was unimpressed by her singing and called her into his office. He said the songs in this movie are much more difficult and intricate than the silly, simplistic cornpone songs she usually sang. He yelled at her for an hour and told her too many of the notes she sang were flat. Dolly came out crying. Her friend asked her if she was crying because he called her songs simplistic cornpone songs. She said: Oh no, it’s just that nobody’s ever called me FLAT before!