The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.
New at better-not-say-it.com: Our hot joke section. Have fun laughing with our sensationally funny jokes:
My next door neighbour just confronted me about items missing from her washing line…
I nearly sh*t her pants…
Whats the difference between jews and Harry Potter
Harry Potter can escape the chamber
“Let’s get Retarded” by Black Eyed Peas hit my playlist once while I was a case manager in my 20’s while driving a van full of developmentally challenged adults
Right when the song first came out (and before the radio edit), I happened to work for a nonprofit organization that assisted people with developmental disabilities. My colleagues and I would provide transportation, and vocational support. I used to play music off of my iPod, and I made it a point that nothing I ever played at work had any curse words or explicit content. Well, I guess this one slipped through. I’ve never seen a van full of people be happier and bounce around more enthusiastically then the passengers that day, they absolutely loved the song. My coworker and I exchanged shocked glances, and we didn’t even know what to do, so we just danced along. Looking back to that day, we were all “retarded.”
Carrying a saw
He had stolen a saw, and on his trial he told the judge that he only took it for a joke. "How far did you carry it?" inquired the Judge. "Two miles", answered the prisoner. "Ah! That is carrying a joke too far", said the judge, and the prisoner was sentenced to jail for three months. Source: 1913 Newspaper
Sarah watches as her mother tries on an expensive fur coat
in a high-end department store. “Do you realize,” Sarah says, “that some poor, dumb animal had to suffer just for you to wear that coat?” Sarah’s mother turns to her and snaps, “Think about how much I’ve suffered! And don’t call your father an animal.”
My 4 year old son has been learning Spanish at school and still doesn’t know the word for please…
I think that’s poor for four.
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said "sex, sex, sex, free sex tonight." I said "wow"
Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
How many apologists for Russian war crimes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
What about war crimes by Western countries??
a woman walks into the doctors office, and receives news that her breast must be removed.
upon looking at the options for prosthetics, she decides to go for the wooden implants. the woman, childbearing, is concerned so she asks the doctor; “doc, will i still be able to breast feed with wooden boobs? would that still work?” the doc looks up at the woman and replies “well, why wooden tit?”
What do you call the the Head of the Washington D.C. Financial Ethics Board?
>!They would be the Capitol Capital Principle Principal!<