The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

I was at an italian restaurant and the waiter asked "What would you like for dessert?"

"Afogato" I replied. The waiter said they would come back in a few minutes.

Did you hear about the three holes in the ground?

Well, well, well…

What do you call a warship that hosts greek weddings?

A dishtroyer.

What do you call 4 Mexicans in a boat full of cheese with a hole in it?

Quattro cinco with a side of queso.

How long did Cain beat his brother?

As long as he was Abel.

An obese man in Islam gets an injection

In other words, he got a flu jab in the Jew flab.

A quip in which the punchline comes before the set-up.

What is a Jeopardy joke?

I can trigger a republican with two words.

Fuck politics

God spoke to His angels

He said, "after extensive trials I have figured out a way to rotate a planet so it receives an even distribution of sunlight and evening." "Wow," said one angel. "What are you going to do now, sir? " And God said, "Call it a day."

A statistics joke...

Three statisticians go deer hunting with bows. They see a giant buck in the woods. Statistician #1 fires his arrow--it goes 10 yards to the left. Statistician #2 fires his arrow--it goes 10 yards to the right. Statistician #3 throws down his bow and yells, "We got it!"

One of my happiest memory is when I won the science fair in highschool.

I mixed charcoal, saltpetre and sulfur and blew away the competition

In the beginning…

…there was bere shit.

Got sent home from work for my Halloween costume..

Apparently, being a brillo pad was too abrasive for some people.