The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

What you call an Indian family that makes bread the traditional way?

>!Naan conformists.!<

Pencil/Pen Joke

A man walks into staples, the employee asks would you rather have a pen or pencil? The man responds with, “It depens. I’ll have to ink it out. In the end my thoughts will have lead me to a conclusion.”

If a stork brings babies, what bird takes them away?

A swallow

What did the Jewish pedophile say?

Do you want to buy some candy? I’m not antisemitism, I’m Jewish relax

what does a dog do after a show?

Gives a round of appaws

Two junkies are crawling on rails

One tells the other: "Dude, this ladder is so fucking long!" He replies: "Bro, chill, I see the elevator going."

What’s a taxidermist do for fun?

Stuff

Recently released arms dealer announces the stunning overnight success of his latest enterprise.

When asked how it was so easy he simply replied, "Finding so many **triggers** in America was never hard."

What do you call your partner with no nose?!?!?

Nose I dear.

My girlfriend who is a maths major: sqrt(-1) < 3u

i <3 u

As a country, we should treat our bickering political parties like how we treat our bickering children

Instead of siding with one or the other, we should yell, “IF YOU TWO KEEP *FUCKING* FIGHTING, I’M TURNING THIS *GODDAMN* CAR RIGHT AROUND!”

What happened when the square had an accident?

It became a wrecked angle.

What do you call a happy man?

Single