The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

A woman asked a boy

Woman:Where is your house? Boy: Infront of my school. Woman:Where is your school? Boy: Infront of my house. Woman:Where are they?! Boy: Infront of each other

What do you call people who sleep in their socks?

Tiny

An old friend told me he just got accepted into a frat house

I said I didn’t know the Red Roofie Inn was still operating

What’s the difference between Brazil and the USA?

About 1500 arrests within 48 hours of an attempted coup.

My friend was wondering if he should explore his kinks about masochism and boxing

I said knock yourself out.

I bought a world map for my room, I’m gonna put a pin on everywhere that i’ve travelled…

… but first I gotta travel to the top 2 corners of the map so it won’t fall down. (Mitch Hedberg 2003)

Spaghetti has erectile dysfunction...

It starts stiff but goes floppy when under pressure.

What’s long and greasy?

French Fries

What did 10 say to 0?

I only put the best one before me.

Did you hear the one about the constipated accountant?

He worked it out with a pencil

Why was the scarecrow awarded the Nobel Prize?

Because he was outstanding in his field.

There’s a new “Door Dash” type service for cocaine.

It’s called “Insta Gram.”

Wife: You only listen to half of what I say.

Husband: I have tinnitus. Half of what I hear is EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE The other half is tinnitus note: she begrudgingly laughed at this one and we are still together.