The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

"That woman dresses like a stripper!"

"Yes, but she pulls it off really well!"

What do you call an African rock band who only gig on a Sunday?

Black Sabbath.

When the interviewer said he would now pursue a tangential line of questions about the position

The blonde interviewee said she prevents that by laying out naked on her back.

A blonde walks into a blind date

“Nice to meet you” she says to her date as they seat themselves in the booth “So tell me about yourself. What do you do for work?” She asks the man “Oh I’m an optometrist” he replies The blonde flashes a big smile and says “I think this is going to work out after all, I’m a glass half full girl myself”

What do you do if an iceberg gets in your way?

You climate.

I went to the doctor as I had been suffering some hearing problems...

The doctor said "Can you describe the symptoms for me?" Surprised, I replied "Homer is a big fat yellow bloke and Marge has big blue hair."

What do you call a uncircumcised black man?

A brotherhood.

Have you heard about the guy no one cared about?

Neither have I

How do you derail a Norfolk Southern Train?

Put it on the tracks.

What did the Pakistani wife say to her husband on their first night?

Grab Mehboob

Some cockroaches turn white after not being in the sun for most of their life

I was pretty surprised to learn that some cockroaches play fortnite

Why was the movie theater sad on Valentine’s Day?

Because it got projected.

Question for Radio Eriwan:

Question for Radio Eriwan: Is it correct that comrade Wassiljewitsch was arrested and sentenced to 35y of prison for calling comrade Stalin an idiot on the last party congress? Answer: Basically yes. He was immediately arrested and sentenced. And he was sentenced to 35y but not for insulting a fellow comrade but for leaking classified information.