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Knock knock!

Who’s there? Two. Two who? It’s pronounced “Toe-hoe”!

A defense counsel was telling his client in Pyongyang some great news in his capital crime case

Lawyer: "I managed to get you a plea deal. You only get the death penalty." ​ Client: "What´s so good about that?" ​ Lawyer: "I managed to get your second cousin once removed on your mother´s side´s sentence reduced to two years hard labour instead of being shot with you."

Does no one say YOLO anymore?

Or are they all dead?

What did the brown hamster say to the white hamster?

You must be new here.

Marriage is grand.

But divorce is 100 grand.

My friend got fired from his job at the pickle factory after he got caught with his penis in the pickle slicer.

As for the pickle slicer, she got fired, too.

what happens when the newspaper editor meets the cannibal chief?

He becomes editor-in-chief.

Walked into to a place to get trained on Marital Arts...

Came out an trained as an Ordained Minister

what is Heavier Than a Tuna Fish?

A Threena Fish

Did you know Joseph from the bible played tennis?

He served in the courts of Pharaoh.

What do horses do when they are not eating?

They are horsing around Made up by my 5 year old daughter…

Whats the difference between a politician and a hooker?

A hooker will stop fucking you once you run out of money.

What do you call a gay vexillologist?

A flaggot.

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