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The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

New at better-not-say-it.com: Our hot joke section. Have fun laughing with our sensationally funny jokes:


A labrador picks up Mjölnir and goes to medical school

Guess he’s a DogThor now.

A guy passes a Psychiatric Hospital

As he walks by, he hears people inside chanting "33! 33! 33!" Curious, he walked over and put his ear to the wall. He still heard "33! 33! 33!" He saw a small hole in the wall and decided to look through. As he stared into the hole, a finger suddenly came out and poked him in the eye Jumping back in pain, he started running away. As he ran, he heard the people chant "34! 34! 34!"

A man was on a hike, when he noticed a sign up ahead.

As he got closer, it became clear that the sign was attached to a beehive. He moved closer still, and discovered that it was an active hive, and there were a ton of bees flying in and out of it. But the sign was still too small to read. He slowed down his approach. So slow, that it was hard to tell if he was moving at all. Finally, when his unstung face was a foot away from the hive, he could read the sign. And it said… "Comb Sweet Comb"

What did the Spanish Dick say to the good looking butt?

Buenos D’ass

Been married for fifteen years and for the first time ever I decided to get a manicure.

Gotta treat my lady special.

Yo mama so fat

She needs a wake apnea machine

Why did I pay $2 to air up my tire?

Inflation. It’s funny cuz it’s true!! Also I’m upset.

What’s one way we know the ocean is friendly?

It waves.

English Civil War:

“I support Charles I !”, said William with a cavalier attitude. “My horse won’t stop”, said William…. whoa-fully.

How many dicks are enough for a flat-earther?

2D

Scientist: “This is by far the clearest picture of one of the farthest planets we have ever seen “!!

Doctor: “ U just wait til I should u this 4k video of Ur-anus”!!

My friends set me up on a blind date.

I can’t wait to see her guide dog!

I took my subatomic car to the quantum mechanic

He said the wheels have no spin

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