The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.
New at better-not-say-it.com: Our hot joke section. Have fun laughing with our sensationally funny jokes:
An arab walks into a surfboard shop (the worst answer from r/followthepunchline)
An arab walks into a surfboard shop. “Excuse me, Sir.” “Hey, Bro-hamed! Back so soon?” “Yes. I’m very embarrassed but…” “Dude. I’m just about to go for my smoke break. Want to share a camel?” “Uh. No thank you. I drove my car. Look. This is very embarrassing but my wife demanded I return this defective product.” “*Sheikh* it off, Bro. So, what happened when you rubbed your surfboard with the Sex Wax (TM)?” Mohammed does spit take to the camera. “… my *surfboard* ?!?!” End of scene.
What do you call a group of people with something in common, but hate each other?
drivers
What do quantum computing and Jada Smith have in common?
Both are involved in entanglements.
A guy goes to a restaurant
He sits down meets his waiter then orders food. Some time passes and the waiter comes out with his food. The guy unravels his napkin fork knife spoon combination and the spoon accidentally falls to the floor. The waiter immediately hands the guy a spoon. The guy astonished at his attention and speed asked why did you have a spoon with you and how did you know I was going to drop mine? The waiter responded well sir here we take pride in cleanliness and carry with ourselves a spoon just in case our customers might happen to drop them on the floor. The guy notices a string sticking out of the waiters apron. So what’s the string for? Well sir we take pride of our cleanliness here and when I have to go to the bathroom I lift the string to pee instead of using my hands. A few second pause the waiter exclaims and if that doesn’t work I use a spoon.
Another Blonde Joke
A man walks into a restaurant and asks the waitress “Hey! Wanna hear some blonde jokes?” The waitress says “Okay, but I should warn you. I’m a blonde, the woman sitting two tables down from you is a blonde policewoman, and the woman sitting across from you is a blonde wrestler.” The man thinks for a moment, then says “Well, never mind then. I don’t want to have to explain them three times.”
I suppose we should have seen the Newton-Leibniz conflict coming.
Calculus has always been derivative
My psychiatrist’s Rorschach ink-blot tests are so stupid.
They’re just pictures of my parents fighting.
You either die young enough to be remembered as a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain.
Just ask Jean-Claude Van Damme
Why did the abbess stop the sisters in the convent from baking their own bread?
She strictly prohibited any n u n dough
BREAKING NEWS: 50 Cent are changing their name!
50 Cent announced today that they would be rebranding to 75 cent to keep up with inflation.