The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

do you know robin?

Robin this dick

Optician.

A man goes to the opticians to get a new pair of glasses, the optician checks his records and finds that the man only had new glasses less than six months before. so he says to the man, "How did you break them, if it was in an accident, we might be able to replace them free." the man says, "I broke them by kissing my girlfriend." the optician says, "how can you break your glasses kissing your girlfriend." the man says, "she closed her legs."

All this chess drama lately smh. All chessophiles want to know is if Magnus Carlsen is the best player in the world, who is the second best player in the world?

Drunk Magnus Carlsen duh

Rick Old:

We’re not strangeth to love. Thou know thyne rules and so doth I. Thyne full commitments what I thinkith of. Thou wouldn’t get it from any other guyeth. I just want to tell thou how I feelith. Gotta make thou understand. Never gonna giveth thou up. Never gonna let thou down. Never gonna runneth around and desert thou. Never gonna maketh thou cry. Never gonna sayeth goodbye. Never tell thyne lie and hurt thou.

I ordered a sub through Door Dash

But when I answered the door, he just gave me a sandwich and left.

A meeting is an event at which the minutes are kept

and the hours are lost.

When Antonella Roccuzzo met Lionel Messi...

She thougth he was a keeper.

Would you like to hear a dry joke?

Desert

Putin is reportedly extremely angry about his bridge getting blown up

He needs to get over it

Radio Sputnik was asked: "Why Communism was not tested with animals first?"

Radio Sputnik answered: "The animal activists had such a cow that they stood up on their back feet."

I’m a real dog person

I like to wear a collar and sh** on the street.

which of the Avengers is a moderator?

Hulk, aka Bruce Banner

What did the man with the average size penis say while getting a blowjob?

You suck a mean dick