The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.
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Aman comes home from work and his wife greats him at the door wearing a sexy French maid outfit.
He smiles as he is looking her up and down. High heels and fishnet stockings. Then he says “Thanks for cleaning the house today honey.”
Did I ever tell you all about my ex girlfriend who died from fentanyl?
She was trying to fentanyl my nuts in her mouth. (rim shot)
What is the best part about being a dad?
Fatherhood, the one hoodie your girl can’t steal from you
So I was eating…
My grandma’s box the other night and it tasted of horse semen. I couldn’t help but think to myself…my god, could this be how she died?
Fellow redditors, I am pleased to announce that I am clean and sober.
So I’m going to finish this shower and head to the liquor store
I walked into a pub with my wife. The Landlord said “Would you like a beer for your wife?”
I said: “That sounds like a fair swap.
My Dr. gave me some antibiotics
I told him I’ve been taking them everyday at 6pm. He asks “why? I told you to take them at 9am”. “To surprise the bacteria” I replied.
Why did Ray Charles say "take a bath!" to a plate of baked haddock?
He thought his wife was standing in front of him
“Don’t hate veganism, hate the people who shame you for what you eat.”
Cannibals: “Noted.”