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Things I hate:

1. Lists 2. Misogynists 3. Redundancy 4. Lists

Why did the cowboy get a wiener dog?

Because he wanted to get a long little doggie.

Why is Santa’s sack so big?

Because he only comes once a year.

Why do one legged people like beer?

Because it’s made with hops.

I spent a lot of time designing a belt buckle with a clock on it.

What a waist of time.

What do you call a swimming pool with 4 men in it?

8 ball pool.

How do you make a pool table laugh?

Tickle its balls

Someone stopped me in the street and asked how to get to the psychiatric ward.

I said, "Take off your clothes and run around for a little while."

Police are at a crime scene

Description of if was pretty gruesome. The lady that lives here has a rather large collection of shoes in her basement. The family discovered her buried underneath a pile of shoes, which seemed to have toppled on top of the victim, and was impaled by multiple stiletto heels. The detective on scene determined the death was caused by shoeicide.

A sheep, a drum and a snake fell off a cliff…

Baa-Dumm-Tssssss….

Jared Kushner, Elon Musk, and Ken Griffen walk into a bar

They go straight to jail cuz they’re in Qatar together and drinking is illegal lol

My lack of Greek mythology knowledge has always been my...

Achilles elbow

What kind of dog can do magic?

A labracadabrador!

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