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Did you guys hear about that new mind-controlled air freshener?
It makes scents when you think about it.
My nephew will be a comedian!
Last night my 7 year old nephew asked me what should you never do in Minecraft? I say go into creative mode because that ruins the game. He stares me down and says no Seth, DON’T WASTE YOUR DIAMONDS ON HOES.
Son to father
Son: Dad , maths teacher has summoned you. Dad: what did you do now? Son: he asked what is 5 times 10, i said 50. Now whats 10 times 5 Father: what kind of shitfuckery is this? Son: exactly thats what i said. next day… Son: Did you visit maths teacher? Dad: was busy today, i ll stop by tomorrow Son: Dont bother, instead go to principals office Dad: what happened now? Son: Phys-ed teacher asked to raise both the hands on the air, i raised. Then he asked raise both your feet’s up. Dad: Both hands up, both feet up. How the fuck are you supposed to stand up? On your dick? Son: exactly, thats what i said Next day.. Son: Dad, dont bother going to principals office. Dad: why? Son: they expelled me. Dad: why? Son: i went to principals office, maths teacher, phys-ed teacher and science teacher were in the office too. Dad: what the fuck was that dick faced science teacher doing there? Son: Exactly..
How did Ms USA win Ms Universe?
By literally carrying a moon and 50 stars on her back…
I live above a laundromat, I try listening to black metal to drown the sound out...
But no matter how loud I turn it, I can always hear the washing machines.
Back in the day…..
The poor had horses and the rich had cars Nowadays the poor have cars and the rich have horses How the stables have turned