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The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

New at better-not-say-it.com: Our hot joke section. Have fun laughing with our sensationally funny jokes:


This lady was at the gas station pumping gas and smoking a cigarette when her arm caught fire...

When the police arrived they shot her for waving a firearm.

What did the half-hearted Aztec sacrificial priest end up with?

Half a heart

why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he stood out in his field

On the front of the toothpaste packaging, it said: "For Amazing Sparkling Teeth!"

"I better not buy it, then," I thought, "mine are rancid."

I am going to meet my girlfriend’s parents for the first time. Her dad is a policeman. She ask me to bring something to impress her dad.

So I brought in 2 suspects

The inventor of the crossword puzzle moved into my neighbourhood.

He lives five streets down and two houses across.

There is a big difference between how Germany spies in the sky and how China does it...

...Gemany always uses 99 red balloons

This morning for breakfast, I made a Belgian waffle.

For lunch, I’m planning to make a Dutch person uncomfortable.

I dated a lawyer once

Makes sense. She had a reputation for settling

I was out walking and contemplating perspective; why does the car look larger as it gets closer?

Then it hit me.

I know for a FACT the US can easily catch the Chinese spy balloon…

We have an excellent inflation rate after all.

Give me your best jokes. my favorite will get a gold award.

Winner will get picked tommorow. Mods, lmk if this is against the rules.

A cop arrests 3 ducks who were in the pond late at night.

He asks the first one: “What are you doing in the pond so late?” First duck replies “Blowing bubbles.” The cop rolls his eyes and asks the second duck: “And what were you doing in the pond so late?” The second duck answers: “Blowing bubbles.” He turns to the third duck: “And what were you doing? Lemme guess, blowing bubbles?” The third duck says: “no, I’m Bubbles.”

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