The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.
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An employee at the local grocery store was primarily responsible for keeping frozen goods well stocked.
At first, he only had a few items to manage, such as bagged ice, frozen pizza, and ice cream. However, as time went by, he found that his daily "to do" list from management was getting longer and longer, sometimes even including things outside the frozen section. At his breaking point, he went to his manager to complain about the unfair treatment and to state his grievances. He demanded that something had to be done. The next day, he saw his "to do" list and was profoundly relieved. He had finally received just ice.
What did the dad yell when, in the middle of a discussion about pachyderms, an elephant burst through the wall?
A RELEPHANT!
Why was the 10 year-old medieval peasant depressed?
He was going through his midlife crisis.
Why is Florida such a dumb state?
Because they make bad decisions on Election Night!
Missing passenger
An elderly man who suffers from dementia was traveling on a cruise ship at night across the sea when he suddenly wakes up from a bad dream. He gets up, looks out his cabin’s window, and gets confused about where he’s at and where the strange ship he’s on is going. The next morning a crew member informs the captain that a man has gone missing. “Sir, we have a passenger missing.” Says the crew member. The captain responds “All of our passengers have an idea of where we are going, he probably just wasn’t on board.”
A chonky baby wanted ice cream, and was throwing a tantrum on wanting ice-cream.
So his parents took him out to a street vendor, selling ice cream. Clearly, that’s how he got chonky. And the next time and next time. He got chunkier with each tantrum. One day they were roaming at a fair and this hulk of a kid saw the Turkish ice cream vendor. The Turkish vendor got onto his antics and was being playful with the kid, but we know this chonky ass hulk, who has tantrum and anger issues, so he stomped so hard, causing tectonic plates to move. And the earthquake And he let out a loud scream, too soon
“Correcting killed the cat,” said a stranger standing next to a man.
“No, that was curiosi…” a loud bang and flash of light silenced him quickly