The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

What did Neil Armstrong say when no one laughed at his moon jokes?

“I guess you had to be there.”

Regretting the compliment...

A woman walks up to a guy in a blue bathing suit and says, "Did you know your eyes match your swim trunks?" He says, "Really! Why? Are my eyes bulging?"

why did the web designer love his job so much?

he had a footer fetish.

[Dark Humor] What’s the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby?

You take off your shoes before jumping on the trampoline.

Curiosity killed the cat

Which means that there is life on Mars

They say nothing is harder said than done.

And I agree!

What is the square root of 69?

The square root of 69 is ​ ​ 8 something. ​ ​ .

What’s brown and sticky?

My boomerang that won’t come back.

I sexually identify as a ColoGaurd Box...

I just want you to shit inside me and send me away.

Mickey and Minnie were in court...

So, Mickey and Minnie were in divorce court. Judge looked down at Mickey and asked "Let me get this straight. You want a divorce on the grounds of mental deficiency?" Mickey looks at the judge "Mental deficiency, where did you get THAT idea? I said she was fucking Goofy!"

Why do lesbians work as bar tenders?

Because they all have their lickher license.

I got six minors on my driving test.

I accidentally reversed into a school playground.

I needed a new washer and dryer

So the guy at the appliance store sold me those units that have Wi-Fi. I’ve bern walking around with damp underwear for two weeks because I can’t remember my password. (Credit: Jay Leno)