The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

Someone just called my phone, sneezed and hung up.

I’m getting tired of these cold calls

Do you know why divorce is so expensive?

Because it’s worth it!

I asked an Indian restaurant if they gave volume discounts for large catering orders

They said their prices are naan negotiable.

My new girlfriend is a Dominatrix that works in a France bakery...

...she really puts the Pain in the Pain au Chocolat...

Liars are just like atoms

They make everything up

A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman attend a conference on international relations…

…and wait patiently for the Welsh delegate to arrive.

A joke my dog told me this morning

What happens when you stop taking your meds? Your dog starts talking to you.

What does a janitor say, when he jumps out of the closet?

Supplies!!

You ever have to deal with that annoying pneumonic tube?

T-uba U-sed B-y E-ugene

rainbow mohawk,,,

An old man was sitting on a bench as a teenager with a mohican passed by. The old man stared at him. As he glared at him, the teenager said, "What's up, old timer, haven't you ever done anything crazy in your life?" The old man replied, "Many years ago I got drunk at a wild party and had sex with a parrot. I was just wondering if you were my son."