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My first bike
When I was a kid, my first bike was stolen on my birthday. I still remember the other kid crying when I stole it from him.
How does one measure radiation in the Dark Dimension?
With an H.R. Geiger counter of course!
I heard the next Fast and Furious movie is going to have these fins on the back of the cars....
...Oops, spoilers.
Two fetuses sit in their moms uterus.
One of them wears a scarf, hat and gloves. His twin asks him why he’s dressed like that. He answers: “l don’t want to catch a cold like the guy with the red nose who pops in here all the time with all that snot!”
Did you hear Timon and Pumbaa caught Simba sucking himself off?
He had to swallow his pride on that one.
Joker asks Batman whats the worst part of going to the opera?
When your parents die at the end
A very talented rabbit
Alice loves walking through the park and saying hello to anyone she hasn’t met before. One day, she comes across a man with a pet rabbit. She asks if the rabbit can do any tricks, and she is greeted with an amazing performance. Without going into too much detail, the rabbit is easily one of the best performers Alice has ever seen in her (admittedly short) life. By the end of the performance, a large crowd has gathered to watch and cheer on the rabbit. Alice gives the man some money to buy food for his very talented rabbit, and goes on her way. Alice continues visiting the park every day as she normally does, and every day the man and his rabbit are there, sitting on the same bench. She doesn’t approach them as she doesn’t want to bother them much, but the man and his rabbit always wave to her as she walks by. A few more weeks pass by, and a Alice decides to talk to the man again. “Where did your pet learn all these tricks?” “Well,” responds the man, “I’ve had Fred here since he was a baby. His whole life he’s been training to do amazing things like you saw a few weeks ago. In fact, his parents were in the circus, so you could say it’s in his blood.” Alice finds this fascinating, but she’s still confused about one thing. “How did you teach him to wave? I didn’t even think rabbits could do that.” “Oh, I never taught him that. He’s just a naturally wavy hare.”