The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.
New at better-not-say-it.com: Our hot joke section. Have fun laughing with our sensationally funny jokes:
A men was living in front of a cemetery
He died and started living in front of his house
There’s this cos playing dude trying to move me with the force while I’m a stormtrooper. I said…
If there was one left, it’s definitely not you.
A blind man walks into a bar with his seeing eye dog
A blind man walks into a bar with his seeing eye dog. Once he enters he picks up his dog and starts swinging him around. The bartender yells and runs over to the man and says “Hey man what are you doing!?” The blind man responds, “oh nothing, I’m just looking around”.
Iraqi Player plays for Detroit City FC
The Coach of Detroit City FC had put together the perfect soccer team. But then his 1st choice goalkeeper got blindsided and was out for the season with a knee injury. Then his backup went down with a concussion. He tried the trading route, free agents, but nobody any good was available. One evening while watching the news from Iraq, he saw a young Iraqi soldier with an amazing arm. The soldier rifled a grenade on a perfect arc into a 4th story window from 100 yards, bam! He tossed another directly into a tight group of 12 enemy fighters 80 yards away, ka-bam! Then a humvee passed, going 60 kph, boom! Another perfect shot! Coach said to himself, “I got to have this guy. He’s got the best arm I’ve ever seen!” He tracks him down and convinces him to come to Detroit. The kid takes coaching perfectly, makes all the saves, and long story short, Detroit City FC win the UCL Championship. The Iraqi is now the Conquering Hero in pro soccer, and a huge story. But when the broadcast team tries to interview him, all he wants is to phone his mom. “Mother,” he yells over the phone, “We just won the UCL Championship!” “Don’t talk to me,” the woman says. “You abandoned us. You can’t be my son.” The young Iraqi begs, “Mom, you don’t understand! Our team won the biggest game here in the U.S. Thousands of fans are screaming for me. The U.S. President is going to call me!” “I don’t care,” his mother snaps. “Right now I can hear gunshots everywhere. Our block is like a ruin. Your brothers were beaten half to death last night, and your sister was nearly raped.” Then she says, "I can never forgive you for making us move to Detroit.
A farmer was taking a nap under grains and was arrested for perjury
For lying under oats
Elon Musk has bought Twitter for 43 billion dollars..
What an idiot.. I downloaded it for free on the App Store