The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.
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Too soon for COVID jokes?
COVID is like fashion… We started hearing about it in Italy… Became popular in LA and NYC… Florida ignored it… And it was all made in China in the end.
Premature Ejaculation,,,
A man was having a problem with premature ejaculation, so he went to the doctor. The doctor said, "When you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate, try startling yourself." That same day the man went to the store and bought himself a starter pistol and ran home to his wife. That night the two were having sex and found themselves in the 69 position. The man felt the urge to ejaculate and fired the starter pistol. The next day he went back to the doctor who asked how it went. The man answered, "Not well. When I fired the pistol, my wife pooped on my face, bit three inches off my penis, and my neighbor came out of the closet with his hands in the air."
How do you know this network jates women?
Blonde jokes are acceptable. ​ ​ Shame on them.
U.S. officials recently shared intel gathered of the Kremlin
They’ve warned Putin is willing to start World Special Military Operation I.
A man goes to Argentina
A man goes to Argentina He rode on the back of a pickup truck to a little town a few miles north of Tandil, where the arid plains roughened into coarse, rocky outcrops at the foothills of the Tandilia Hills. There’s not much to see other than a bustling little main street, where you can buy groceries and candy and tobacco. You can even catch a soccer game at a pleasant pub. What surprises the man, however, is just how many dentist’s offices he can see, covered in big neon signs advertising veneers at discount prices. One, two, three - three dentists in one little town! His curiosity gets the better of him. The man enters the first dentist’s office and asks the dentist about his story. The dentist explains that his father was German but loved the Argentine sun. The man enters the second dentist’s office and asks the dentist about his story. The dentist explains that his father was German but loved the Argentine air. The man enters the third dentist’s office and asks the dentist about his story. The third dentist explains that his father was German but loved the Argentine food. This was all very well and good but it didn’t explain much at all. Shrugging it off, the man goes to the pub, and orders a beer. The barman asks the man if he’s enjoying his visit. The man says yes, but he’s confused as to why there’s so many German dentists. “Just be grateful they don’t do what their parents did,” the barman says. “Why?” asks the man. “Who were their parents?” “Butchers,” says the barman.
The other day, I ran out of apple juice
But I had a big box full of apples at home, so I thought I would try to make some myself. I stared at that box for over an hour and nothing happened. Then I looked at the empty juice bottle again, and on the label it said "not from concentrate." Boy did I feel foolish
A man comes home to his blonde wife butt-ass naked, straddling and sliding down the staircase railing.
"What are you doing?!" says the man. Yogasim waiting for you. I am.
What does drugs and best friends have in common?
They’re there when you need them, and you can buy them for a decent price.
What do you call a small Australian insect that lives in large colonies and can be highly destructive to trees and timber?
A termate
Ducking the issue
Him: What kind of duck is that one over there? Me: Eider, no? Him: Me neither.