The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

What do you call a song without lyrics?

Melody (she/her)

My grandfather gave me the Luger pistol he took from a German soldier he shot

I had no idea that at his advanced age, he was shooting people in foreign countries and smuggling weapons.

Food Fight

My buddy invited me to a fight, turns out it was a food fight..…. Guess i should of known when the announcer started it off by saying “let’s get ready to gumbooooo”

I don’t know why circuses are so popular to this day...

They have the same, tired old acts every time. The clowns, the lion tamer, the tightrope walkers, the trapeze artists. The leotard-clad ladies twirling on the ropes, the leotard-clad ladies twirling on the ropes, the leotard-clad ladies twirling on the ropes. Well, I guess there are people that never get tired of that. Regarding another joke on here - I guess the circus has cunning stunts AND stunning cunts!

I never thought PT could fix my posture

But I stand corrected

What is it called when you lift a port-a-potty on the roof of a 2 story building with a crane?

Taking that shit to the next level.

What do you call a Pirate that pisses on people?

Arrrrrrgh Kelly

A young boy, a doctor, and an old man were on an airplane with Putin.

Suddenly, the pilot runs in and cries, "The plane is going down and we only have 4 parachutes but 5 people," as he runs to the back. The pilot then takes a parachute and jumps out of the aircraft. Immediately, Putin grabs the nearest parachute, says, "I have a war I must win," and hops off the plane. The doctor then said, “I save lives every day and the world needs me,” He proceeds to take a parachute and jumps out. The old man sees the final parachute and tells the young lad, "I have practically completed my life; you have just begun. You should be the one to take the final parachute." The young boy, smiling, pulls out a parachute from under one of the seats and says, "Putin took my backpack."

I changed my gmail password to “my dick”

But google said it was too short.

Why do female military use camo dildos?

So no one can see them cuming

I tried to steal spaghetti from the shop

But the female guard saw me and I couldn’t get pasta. Credit: Masai Graham, Funniest joke of the Edinburgh Fringe.

My penis is so small…

The last time I had sex with a woman her antibodies fought me

why did 50 cent become 48 cent when asked about abortion?

because he gave his two cents.