The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

Bitch ass Karens like to drink this brand of beer

Karen Ichiban

I was voted “Least likely to Succeed” by my high school class.

I hate being a teacher.

I once sleepwalked my way through a race, and came second place.

Well you know what they say, you snooze you lose.

My garage door makes a jerking motion as it opens

I messaged my friend and asked him to send me the number of the man that fixed his gate. My friend sent me the number and I phone right away. “Hi, my garage door isn’t working properly, could you please see if you could fix it?” The man responded: “Sorry, I can’t help you with that… I’m a podiatrist.” “I know,” I responded, “but I figured that if you could fix my friend’s awkward pigeon-toed gait, you could fix my garage door, too!”

Frida Kahlo walks into a bar

She says to the bartender: My eyes are down here

[NSFW] What is a guaranteed way to make a Weiner hard?

Put it in the microwave for about 2 minutes.

Did you hear about the Mexican fireman that had twins?

He named one José. He named the other one hose B.

I saw a woman drop a can of Pringles in the store. I picked it up for her and she thanked me.

I told her that I like to help out when the chips are down.

I had a wooden whistle….

And it wooden whistle. I had a steel whistle… And it steel wooden whistle. I got a tin whistle… And now I tin whistle!

An elephant and a plate glass window fell off a cliff.

Badum Tish.

What do you call a black NPC?

A NAAPC

Why did the OB/GYN get out of work early?

S.he had a free period!

If you get nostalgic about childhood camping trips…..

you are just living in the past tents.