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Why did the tomato go to the birthday party?
It heard there was going to be a ketchup.
After 5 years of repair work, I was happy to read that The Big Ben is working again.
Thanks to everyone that…worked around the clock.
Fun history fact: The Trampoline was originally sold under the name "Jumpoline"
. . .until June 15th, 1982, when your mom got on one.
When I get old and become a grandfather, I hope my family calls me pee-paw
Not because I would be grouchy, but because of my urinary incontinence
Hobby farm (long)
A city couple, Jim and Fiona bought a small farm to retire on, complete with four cows, but no bull. They wanted the cows to have calves, but couldn’t justify the expense of buying a bull when they only had four cows. As luck would have it, the farmer down the road ran a stud and had prize bulls. Jim thought he would be neighborly and go and introduce himself. Bob the farmer next door was real friendly, and when hearing the problem Jim had with cows but no bull offered a solution. “I can see your problem, and I want to help. Things are a bit quiet here and I have a prize winning bull that isn’t being used as often as we would like. I have done nothing but farm, and am a fourth generation farmer. I love everything about farming, but my wife is the business person and would never allow one of our bulls to service your cows for free.” “My wife leaves for work at 8.00 each morning and returns at 6.00 in the afternoon, so if you bring your cows over at 9.00 and leave at 5.00 she will never know. The bull sure won’t tell her. Bring them around on Monday morning, take them back Monday afternoon, and by Friday afternoon they are certain to be in calf”. So Monday comes around, and Jim loads his four cows in the back of his truck at 8.00, drives on over to Bob’s place, unloads the cows in the field with the prize winning bull, and picks them up in the afternoon before the neighbors wife gets home from work. He does the same thing same time on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. On Friday morning Jim is a little hung over from too much home brew on Thursday night, and doesn’t even get out of bed until 10.00. He stumbles into the kitchen and mentions to Fiona that he had best skip breakfast until he had loaded the cows onto the truck. Fiona said “You don’t need to. Three of them loaded themselves in to the back of the truck and the other one is in the front tooting the horn”.