Hush

The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

New at better-not-say-it.com: Our hot joke section. Have fun laughing with our sensationally funny jokes:


What is the name of the chiropractor in Leningrad where Paul McCartney is treated?

Back in the USSR.

Disaster was narrowly avoided today.

It turns out that a local small business owner and I have VERY different definitions of "stump grinding". Now what am I supposed to do with all these one dollar bills?!?

Where does a sheep sit in the car during a road trip?

In the Ba a a ack

I rang the tinnitus clinic today, it went to the machine.

Was asked to give a message after the beep.

My ex girlfriend said she wanted me back so I told her that she is like the sun she asked “aww…how so?”

I said “because you hurt my eyes…now get outta my sight before you make me blind”

I told an abortion joke the other day...

afterwards, a woman approached me and said that this was very insensitive as she just had had an abortion, and I should not be joking about it. I answered "oh I am sorry, I just told a joke.. I think what you did is much worse"

Why are soldiers bad at music theory?

A sharp major doesn’t exist.

What do you call it when someone murders their friend?

Homie cide

Why was the puppeteer arrested?

He was hiding in the women’s locker room and trying to pull strings.

Guy goes into a sushi place and asks the chef to make his look like a pair of Nike Jordan’s...

The chef asks why? the man replies: “just do it.”

Divorce is a psychological process

One is psycho, the other is logical

Interviewer: “ So, where do you see yourself in 5 years?”

Alive hopefully

Who do Siri and Alexa go to when they are unable to answer a question?

Chuck Norris

more on the subject Jokes


Do you know things that are better left unsaid?

Help us make the site even funnier! We look forward to your contribution!

Thank you very much!